With the NFL lockout finally coming to an end this week, teams have been frantically signing and trading players in a feeding frenzy unseen in the history of the league as they get ready for the start of the 2011 NFL season, just six weeks away. Among all of the confusion of blockbuster trades and free agent signings we have learned just this afternoon — VROOM!
Archive for July, 2011
What is the only thing more dangerous than washing down a quart of vodka with a gallon of gin? NOT doing that exact thing. Amy Winehouse, VOICE of a TENTH of a generation and general pile of human mess, did not die as a result of the excesses of a lifestyle that made her biggest — VROOM!
Good ol’ Heff, still pullin’ 25 year old strange at 85 years old. Hats off to ya old boy. But a little bit of the ugly truth was leaked recently by aforementioned strange. Crystal Harris, Hugh’s latest name added to his novel length list of ass-tap, called him out on Howard Stern saying that his — VROOM!
Sometimes my mind breaks and I need to just shout incoherently… And things like these happen… Then I go away to the quiet place and try to make sense of it all again…
So this weekend was big for the former actress known as Marilyn Monroe. Not only did the classy city of Chicago erect a 27 foot “upskirt” statue of Marilyn in her “Seven Year Itch” pose, a six minute pornographic film shot in 1946 or 1947 has surfaced with Marilyn Monroe in it. Now this is — VROOM!
Hey! Remember the Haiku contest? Oh, those were the days, we were all so young. Well, for those that don’t and don’t care enough to look through the archives to find it. We had a contest in which participants submitted their best Van themed Haiku. And after weeks of heated competition and literally ten of — VROOM!
Human beings have kind of a sick obsession with dead bodies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster, I get that the rapidly decaying, lifeless corpse over there used to belong to someone you had some fondness for. But at no point forward will that bio degrading fleshy mound of used ta was, ever — VROOM!
During a session of love-seat-lounging yesterday, something dawned on me as I watched the “news” on my thin-black-box-of-tummy-plumping’ness. I realized that a good ol’ “pie in the face” has never lost its charm, AND, the most important realization, was that getting “pied” is the ultimate form of putdownery that you really can inflict on thine — VROOM!
There are so many unknowns in this world. So many things that live with us every day, unseen, thought lost or having not even yet been discovered by man. The great mysteries of the world we live in intrigue us every day, push explorers toward the outer reaches of our understanding and beyond. What is it about — VROOM!
A heterosexual black male, a gay white male, and a filthy hillbilly male walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type here”. The three men look at each other in confusion, turn to the bartender and say, “Which one of us are you talking to”? And that there my friends lies — VROOM!