November 30th 2012 – After the inadvertent release of indisputable scientific and theological confirmation of the Mayan calendar’s grim prediction of the end of the world and with a now hard, verified three weeks remaining in the very existence of the planet Earth and all of mankind, the peoples of the world, finally seeing above — VROOM!
Archive for November, 2011
This Didn't Happen Today in History — November 30th
November 30th, 2011 
Jesse Jones 
Posted in End of the World, History 
Tags: ancient, civilizations, End of the world, future, Mayan Calendar, Ragnarok, theology 
1 Comment »World's Slowest Yet Most Expensive Female Pleaser
November 29th, 2011 Jason Whitesel Women like it slow, but if this is the kind of slow that they mean, then I’m gonna go grab a sandwich and I’ll be back when you’re good and worked up, in say, oh … two hours. The porn industry is a multi-ka-trillbion dollar industry. It’s everywhere you look and everywhere you don’t want — VROOM!
Weight Loss & Muscle Gain … The Van Full of Candy Way
November 28th, 2011 Jason Whitesel We all overate this past week, and we’re all still eating the leftovers pretending those calories don’t count, well, because they’re leftovers and only the original three meals make us fat. Well if you want to melt those holiday pounds right off your skeleton, then look no further. We here at Van Full of Candy — VROOM!
Posted in Addiction, Comedy, Health, Products Tags: Amino Energy, Crack, Optimum Nutrition, Snorting, Weight Loss, Whey Protein, Workout 3 Comments »American Atheists Unveil New Super Hero Team: M.Y.T.H.S.
November 22nd, 2011 Jesse Jones Just in time for Christmas: the holy celebration of the birth of the one true lord who shall judge us all at the right hand of the father as we pass from this mortal realm to the infinite of our judgement, the folks at American Atheist have introduced America’s new favorite super team: M.Y.T.H.S.! (Mentoring Youths — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Comic Books, Religion, Self Richeousness Tags: American Atheists, atheists.org, Christian, Jesus, MYTHS, Poseidon, Santa, Satan 6 Comments »Occupy Our Van Full of Pepper Spray !!
November 21st, 2011 Jason Whitesel Well shit, if I knew that the best way to rustle up some “excitement” and get this website viral was to give some peaceful activists the what-for, I would have called it Van Full of Pepper Spray from the get-go and driven from protest to protest gleefully spraying people in their stupid protesting face. Damn! — VROOM!
Come With Me, Back to Happy Valley!
November 17th, 2011 Jesse Jones A couple years ago, 2008 to be exact (the year 2008, not 2008 years ago, I really don’t want to talk about that time… it still hurts.), I set about on a quest. But before we get there, I guess I should recap it all from the beginning, if’n I’m’a gonna. In April 2006 I needed a creative outlet. — VROOM!
Posted in Cartoon, Comic Books Tags: 24 Hour Comics Day, anthropomorphic, comics, ComicSpace, Happy Valley, WonderCon No Comments »Would You Like Some Honey in Your Panda Shit Tea?
November 16th, 2011 Jason Whitesel Yesterday, VFoC’s own Jesse J. wrote about China and how they’re completely out of control and making us literally shit our pants. Funny he should say SHIT (I could be paraphrasing), because that’s what China is doing to us, YET AGAIN, today. Not only are WE shitting our pants, but the crazy muthafukkin Chinese, well — VROOM!
Cut It Out China! You're Freaking Us Out!
November 15th, 2011 Jesse Jones China is going to murder us from the sky! How do I know? The Googles! The Googles told me! … GOOGLES! Alright, let me back up here, this may require slightly more explanation than me shouting “The Googles” at you until it makes sense. That could take days. Days that WE DON’T HAVE! First, take a — VROOM!
Posted in Conspiracy, Examination Tags: America 2, Area 51, China, communist, Google, Mars, missile range, Mongolia, Nuclear, Solar, street grid, United States, Washington D.C. 1 Comment »
VFoC Video — “US Army Vet Un-invites Cameron Diaz to “Fondue Fun Night”, Invites Zach Galifianakis”
November 14th, 2011 Van Full of Candy Holy crap !! When I read today that Justin Timberlake had attended the Marine Corps Ball over the weekend, I thought “Oh my GAWD, did I accidentally stand up Cameron Diaz?”. For whatever crazy reason, I forgot to put the Fondue Fun Night at The Melting Pot in my calendar, but in a fortunate scheduling — VROOM!
Posted in Celebrity, Comedy, Dating, Featured, Food, Justin Timberlake, Videos, YouTube Tags: Fondue, Justin Timberlake, Marine Corps Ball, Melting Pot, Mila Kunis, Video Invite, Zach Galifianakis No Comments »Tampon Shooters With a Summers Eve Chaser
November 11th, 2011 Jason Whitesel We here at Van Full of Candy have a long history with partying and drinking, so when we heard what the brilliant kids in Arizona were doing, we decided to make our own list of ways to absorb firewater in ways that will make even the most hardened heroin addict cringe, well, we’d like to — VROOM!
