Evolution, it’s happening right now, right under our stupid little noses, which will naturally one day evolve the ability to smell color so that the blind can understand rainbows. But yesterday, Science thought it would share what it had found out about evolution happening a little farther under our noses. Around the area that I’ve — VROOM!
Archive for December, 2011
When I think of great reading material the only true publication that jumps out at me without even giving it a second thought is Playboy. Month after month, year after year they churn out some of the most interesting and in depth articles covering the gamut from polictics to Super Bowl MVPs, from how to — VROOM!
December 16th 1362 – King Gretch the Least Boil Covered, ruler of Low Slopshire, was propped up in the window of Pox Castle to gurgle incoherently at his dead and dying subjects for what turned out to be his final address. His feverish ramblings meandered from the subject of the appropriate waiting period after the death of a — VROOM!
Alright every body, hold on to your things which are easily ejected from your person by sudden shock from wholly unbelievable news! Socks, hats, balls and all other comically loose items secured? Alright, you can’t say I didn’t warn you. Here goes… Drinking booze, makes people want to fuck, stupidly! I know. I lost nine good — VROOM!
What better way to bring in the Yuletide season with the wonderful smell of Gingerbread Lattes and White Christmas playing in the background. Storming the malls on black Friday and hopefully not trampling anyone in the process, let alone being the trample-ee. Getting all the things our family wants and eating all the things that — VROOM!
This week has been an uneven one for those who like to party first and deal with party related consequences eventually. We at Van Full of Candy are known to be fans of both “Party” and “Consequences”. The first is fun, the second is hilarious and the combination of the two is often hilariously fun. — VROOM!
Australian scientists uncovered the eyes of a 500 million year old super predator who dominated the oceans and would be considered in today’s standards, the great white shark of noicepolyolithiorianlike times. Now you’re probably wondering what the hell just finding the eyes has any relevance to this great white Australian discovery right? Well it’s because — VROOM!
It’s happened !! It’s FINALLY happened !!! The powers that be who hold dominion over the interwebby names have allowed websites, such as ourselves, to become .XXX websites. How indecently awesome is that ?? Think about it, we wouldn’t be just a run of the mill boring old .COM website anymore, we could be really — VROOM!
Alrighty hippies, here’s your chance to really put your carbon footprint where your mouth was. A facility in Durham, England is ready to turn your last act of selfish global pollution into the greenest of green energies. Why let your rotting remains just disintegrate in the ground, a skeleton in a fine suit and a — VROOM!
Babies, you have to call them something, and “Dream Murdering Booze Accident” gets confusing as their numbers multiply. So we give them more vague names based almost entirely on our own whims. We made the thing, we should get to scar it for life with the poorly thought out label we’ll be writing into the back of its underwear for decades. — VROOM!