An Open Letter To My Downstairs Neighbor

Dear Downstairs Neighbor,

Good day. I’m your upstairs neighbor. We don’t really know each other except for the occasional passing by when we both leave our houses at the same time and the quick uncomfortable hand raise with a cordial “Hi”.  We’ve also crossed paths a couple of times over at the community mailbox area, and that was kind of awkward too since you recycle junk mail and I just toss it in the conveniently provided trash receptacle.

Well I just needed to ask you something. Was it intentional? The placement? The timing?

Come on down ... I dare you!

The other day when I was getting ready to go for a drive, I saw this … well … area rug I guess? I was really startled and didn’t know what to do. It seems as if you were airing it out, or letting it roar at the sun for a while. Either way, I was frozen in my steps. Perhaps by the pose of the magnificent white giant, or because maybe the tiger was lounging in a different universe as depicted by the planets in the background. How was I going to get past this monstrosity without being mauled? How could I sneak by without stepping on it and falling into a magical 3rd-dimension in his magical esophagus? Coupled by the fact that the blue bathroom carpet was seemingly intentionally placed as a secondary blockage. Maybe I could use the blue carpet as a launching pad with a good run. I did take track & field in junior high, and did do pretty well in the triple jump, so possibly my form would carry me over the white death and safely to the concrete on the other side.  Perhaps I could repel straight down with sheets tied together or better yet, low-crawl through the shrubbery directly next to the large feline, even though that would put me at greater risk being in such a vulnerable position.

In my moment of feeling how we are just two different people on the spectrum of normalcy, something occurred to me. We’re not that different. Actually we are eerily similar. I ran back inside the house and found something that I had long forgot about, tucked away in a bottom drawer. I put it on. The magic was back, I felt as if nothing could get in my way. My glorious cloak of ROAAR! that would grant me, and only me, safe travel past the gatekeeper below. I calmly walked down the stairs and past the lovely tiger to my van with nary a scratch.

I fear not in my Cloak of ROAAR!

Who would have known that two separate people from two different places in this world would end up living right on top and below each other with the same love for white jungle cats? You are the Siegfried to my Roy.

Signed,

Not so scared anymore upstairs neighbor