It’s safe to say that the medical community and I often don’t see eye to eye. What they call a cancerous tumor ravaging an otherwise perfectly healthy body, I like to think of as a super excited lump of meat, just trying to make friends with the rest of your organs as quickly as possible. — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Addiction’ Category
Let’s be honest with ourselves, coffee tastes like shit! But that black liquid crack ass drink can be doctored up enough with 4 or 5 Splenda, 1/4 cup of half & half, a little cinnamon on top and BAMMM!! Something tolerable. But then you really need to take into consideration all the time and preparation — VROOM!
We all overate this past week, and we’re all still eating the leftovers pretending those calories don’t count, well, because they’re leftovers and only the original three meals make us fat. Well if you want to melt those holiday pounds right off your skeleton, then look no further. We here at Van Full of Candy — VROOM!
In the modern world of online dating, and the availability of “adult services” all over the internet, one would think that hookin’ up with someone shouldn’t be too difficult. There are so many ways to go out and find yourself a live warm one to take home with you, and whether that leads to 1st — VROOM!
Well thank god THAT’S over … for now anyway. Some federal judge has ruled that the “graphic” images of what smoking will do to you are unconstitutional and go against Big Tobacco’s right to free speech, saying that the pictures are “staged”. So what I’m getting out of this is that since the pictures are — VROOM!
Gone are the days of a good ‘ol fashion melon pounding thanks to this latest punishment to the people, bestowed upon us by a spiteful and vengeful god. You know, I really don’t understand how a melon STD outbreak is even possible, let alone fair. I mean, what the hell is ‘listeria’ anyway? It’s not — VROOM!
I don’t want to say I told you so. I mean, I’ve told you time and time again about how I hate to be the one to tell you that I told you. If there’s one thing that anyone who knows me can tell you that I’ve told them is that the thing that I — VROOM!
I know that we have an affinity for our technical devices these days. Not just an affinity, but for most of us, they are an attachment of our arms just past our hands and sometimes to our ears. And for those of us who need this certain device within at least 10 feet of our — VROOM!