Oh boy, are you in for an extra special, super sensational treat of an occasion of an extravaganza! You’ve joined me just in time to witness the introduction to you, our fine, loyal, theoretical fan, of my very own all new brand of sugary snacking cakes! They’re going to be a delicious chocolate brownie, smothered — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Advertising’ Category
Weight Loss Pills And Skinny Big Girl Jeans — You’re Not Good Enough: Parte the Second
March 5th, 2012 
Jesse Jones Fat, it’s unattractive on woman ladies. On men folk of course it’s distinguished and rugged, esteemed and electable. Lady people are not allowed to have any of it. Not if I had my way at least! Women are supposed to be sleek, lithe and petite, like tiny baby jungle cats that you want to penetrate — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Fashion, Health, Medicine, Women's Health 
Tags: Curve ID, FDA, Hagen Daz, hotness, Levi's, obesity, pharmaceuticals, Qnexa, Susan Yanovski 
No Comments »
VFoC Podcast — “The Van Full of Candy Show: Episode 3: Master of Blow Pops”
February 15th, 2012 Van Full of Candy Best. Episode. Yet! And no, I’m not just saying that because a sexy Van Fan professed her attraction for Candy Man, Jesse Jones in the second half of the episode, but that sure as hell doesn’t hurt its quality! In tonight’s episode of “The Van Full of Candy Show” we discussed our respective Valentines Dayses. — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Alcohol, Dating, Drinking, Fast Food, Podcasts, Products, Sponsors, Twitter Tags: 1800Hoarders.com, attraction, Booze Koozie, Chinatown Newspaper, Clutter Busters, Disgusting Beard, Hoarders, Kleenex, Man vs. Food, Tesla Motors, Tesla the Band, The Heart Attack Grill, Valentine's Day No Comments »
VFoC Podcast — The Commercials
February 10th, 2012 Van Full of Candy Since the debut of “The Van Full of Candy Show” (LIVE Wednesday nights at 8 pm on BlogTalkRadio.com), we’ve continually gotten one comparison over and over again. People are making the natural and very realistic comparison between our new live podcast or “livecast” show and the single most watched program in the history of program — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Featured, Podcasts, YouTube Tags: blogtalkradio, Commercials, livecast, parody, podcast, radio, Super Bowl No Comments »
Super Like a Virgin Vogue Bowl – Sponsored by Bridgestone
February 2nd, 2012 Jason Whitesel Remember Madonna? Yeah, she was that blonde super popstar singer who wore all kinds of crazy outfits and sang about sex and religion and emerged from an egg at the Grammy Awards? No wait, she was the one who made super erotic music videos pushing the boundaries of feminism while wearing crazy makeup and pranced — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Alcohol, Celebrity, Comedy, Super Bowl Tags: Bud Light, Half Time Show, Madonna, Pepsi 2 Comments » VFoC Podcast — “The Van Full of Candy Show: Episode 1: The Beginining”
February 1st, 2012 Van Full of Candy The debut of “The Van Full of Candy Show”, our LIVE weekly podcast just wrapped up and it went off without not having hitches! We may or may not have been live, we couldn’t tweet out, it was kind of a mess. We had our shit together Blog Talk Radio, you fall in line or — VROOM!
American Atheists Unveil New Super Hero Team: M.Y.T.H.S.
November 22nd, 2011 Jesse Jones Just in time for Christmas: the holy celebration of the birth of the one true lord who shall judge us all at the right hand of the father as we pass from this mortal realm to the infinite of our judgement, the folks at American Atheist have introduced America’s new favorite super team: M.Y.T.H.S.! (Mentoring Youths — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Comic Books, Religion, Self Richeousness Tags: American Atheists, atheists.org, Christian, Jesus, MYTHS, Poseidon, Santa, Satan 6 Comments »Meet CNN's Newest Correspondent: Pec Flexman
November 8th, 2011 Jesse Jones I have a pretty steady routine when it comes to looking for things on the internet to yell at every other day on our webbed site internets log page. I have a few regular news sources that I scour for the most inane, ridiculous, mind rapingly dumb news stories of the day. Naturally I start — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Headlines Tags: Beatles, CNN, cnn.com, Fox News, foxnews.com, Iran, Joe Frasier, Lennon, Lohan, Michelle Duggar, North Korea, Obama, Pakistan, Protein shakes 1 Comment »One Million Moms Hate Balls
September 22nd, 2011 Jesse Jones During the winter break of my Sophomore year at the University of Nevada, Reno (go fighting Soft Sixteens!) I took a backpacking excursion through the inhospitable wilderness of the South American rainforest. I hiked for nine days with my trusty guide Tuo Uu-nu Eepchak. I was but a fool child, ill prepared for the conditions I would face — VROOM!
That Awkward Moment When You Get In a Van With Ronald McDonald and He Has No Hamburgers
August 24th, 2011 Jason Whitesel The title of this blog comes from a very popular “Tweet” and mixes it with us, Van Full of Candy, and a cheeseburger slinging clown. It’s sort of a creepy-trifecta right off the bat. The “Tweetsy” I’m referring to is one that starts off … #ThatAwkwardMomentWhen … and people put all kinds of awkward moments — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Comedy, Fast Food Tags: #thatawkwardmomentwhen, Don't talk to strangers, hamburgers, Hamburglar, McDonalds, Ronald McDonald No Comments »
