Oh boy, are you in for an extra special, super sensational treat of an occasion of an extravaganza! You’ve joined me just in time to witness the introduction to you, our fine, loyal, theoretical fan, of my very own all new brand of sugary snacking cakes! They’re going to be a delicious chocolate brownie, smothered — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Conspiracy’ Category
VFoC Podcast — “The Van Full of Candy Show: Episode 1: The Beginining”
February 1st, 2012 
Van Full of Candy The debut of “The Van Full of Candy Show”, our LIVE weekly podcast just wrapped up and it went off without not having hitches! We may or may not have been live, we couldn’t tweet out, it was kind of a mess. We had our shit together Blog Talk Radio, you fall in line or — VROOM!
Cut It Out China! You're Freaking Us Out!
November 15th, 2011 Jesse Jones China is going to murder us from the sky! How do I know? The Googles! The Googles told me! … GOOGLES! Alright, let me back up here, this may require slightly more explanation than me shouting “The Googles” at you until it makes sense. That could take days. Days that WE DON’T HAVE! First, take a — VROOM!
Posted in Conspiracy, Examination 
Tags: America 2, Area 51, China, communist, Google, Mars, missile range, Mongolia, Nuclear, Solar, street grid, United States, Washington D.C. 
1 Comment »The Death of Winehouse, Parte the Third: The Resolutioning
October 26th, 2011 Jesse Jones A pathologist says Amy Winehouse consumed a “very large quantity of alcohol” prior to her death. What? Wait, what? No, wait… WHAT?! NO!? WHAT?! Wait, WHAT!?! NO!? Suhail Baithun has told an inquest into the singer’s’ death that blood and urine samples showed she was 4.5 times over the legal drunk-driving limit. Are you– But — VROOM!
Posted in Alcohol, Celebrity, Conspiracy Tags: alcohol, Amy Winehouse, booze, coroner, Highlander, pathologist, toxicology No Comments »A Priest, A Rabbi and an iPhone 5 Walk Into a Bar …
September 1st, 2011 Jason Whitesel … the bartender says, “What’ll it be fellas?”. The iPhone says, “I don’t know about these two stiffs, but I wanna tie one on and go home with a stranger.”. Ok, so WTF Apple employees? This is beginning to be some sort of alcohol induced habit. You get your prototype, you go out drinking, and — VROOM!
For the Last Time: Kanye West is Not Hitler
August 8th, 2011 Jesse Jones People, this has simply got to stop. It seems a week doesn’t go by that I don’t have to step up and say the unpopular, but almost impossibly obvious to one and all: Kanye West is not Hitler. I thought we went over this. I thought we had all come to an understanding, that while Kanye — VROOM!
Posted in Conspiracy, Music, Unpopular Stand Tags: Big Chill, genocide, Hitler, Jews, Kanye West, Kingye Best, music festival, Not Hitler No Comments »Run Nessie! They Done Shot Chupie!
July 19th, 2011 Jesse Jones There are so many unknowns in this world. So many things that live with us every day, unseen, thought lost or having not even yet been discovered by man. The great mysteries of the world we live in intrigue us every day, push explorers toward the outer reaches of our understanding and beyond. What is it about — VROOM!
Posted in Conspiracy, Cryptozoology, Entertainment News, Wildlife Tags: Alaska, Andy Hillstrand, Carter Pope, Chupacabra, Chupie, Deadliest Catch, Discovery Channel, Learning Channel, Loch Ness Monster, Nessie, Texas, TLC, TMZ 1 Comment »Your Fake Boobs Are Two Incredibly Beautiful Terrorists
July 6th, 2011 Jason Whitesel What the hell is going on with TSA these days? A couple of months ago they were searching for bombs in baby’s diapers, then they moved on recently to searching for bombs in a 90 year old’s Depends Undergarment. But now … NOW … they’re going to need to start fondling all the ladies with implants. — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Conspiracy, Fashion, Government, Headlines, War on terror Tags: Big Ass, Calista Flockhart, Dolly Parton, Fake Boobs, Implants, Kim Kardashian, Planes, Screening, Security, Terrorists, TSA 1 Comment »Celebrity News: So Crazy, it's True
June 24th, 2011 Van Full of Candy Celebrities, they’re who we pretend we’re having sex with when we’re just giving it to the ol’ lady because it feels like it’s probably about time that we should. Celebrities live lives that are too ridiculous to be believed most of the time, flying around the world and being interviewed about the latest thing they — VROOM!
Apple unveils "iLand": You're All Going to Die Here
June 9th, 2011 Jesse Jones Steve Jobs is building a 150 acre compound in Cupertino California to house his 12,000 iTroops for the coming Applegeddon, and there’s precisely not a single damned thing that you or any god being to which you have pledged your eternal soul can do about it. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing people that getting a discount by signing a — VROOM!
Posted in Apple, Conspiracy, End of the World, Science, Technology Tags: Airport, Apple, Applegeddon, Bill Hewlett, california, City Council, Cupertino, David Packard, Devil, Emperor, Gilbert Wong, Highlander, iLand, iPolitician, iTroops, iYear, spaceship, Steve Jobs, Tron 3 Comments »
