It’s safe to say that the medical community and I often don’t see eye to eye. What they call a cancerous tumor ravaging an otherwise perfectly healthy body, I like to think of as a super excited lump of meat, just trying to make friends with the rest of your organs as quickly as possible. — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Drinking’ Category
Drinking: Too Much vs. Shut Up
March 27th, 2012 
Jesse Jones Anybody who knows us, knows that we at Van Full of Candy like to party. They’re usually tipped off to this fact by us screaming “WE LIKE TO PARTY!” in their face moments before we collapse and begin to evacuate our bladders into our slacks. Over the years fans of distilled spirits have seen their — VROOM!
Posted in Alcohol, Bar Scene, Drinking, Examination 
Tags: alcohol, Harrison Ford, honour, NIAAA, party, Slurpee, Tequila 
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VFoC Podcast — “The Van Full of Candy Show: Episode 4: Conversation Hearts”
February 23rd, 2012 Van Full of Candy It’s just damned lucky that I’m not writing this recap of last night’s live episode of “The Van Full of Candy Show” via my one phone call from a holding cell in down town Los Angeles today… You see, while we originally chose the name “Van Full of Candy” because of it’s catchy tongue in — VROOM!
Posted in Audio, Drinking, Podcasts Tags: creepy, hospital, LIVE, Purell, stalker, Tough Mudder No Comments » VFoC Podcast — “The Van Full of Candy Show: Episode 3: Master of Blow Pops”
February 15th, 2012 Van Full of Candy Best. Episode. Yet! And no, I’m not just saying that because a sexy Van Fan professed her attraction for Candy Man, Jesse Jones in the second half of the episode, but that sure as hell doesn’t hurt its quality! In tonight’s episode of “The Van Full of Candy Show” we discussed our respective Valentines Dayses. — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Alcohol, Dating, Drinking, Fast Food, Podcasts, Products, Sponsors, Twitter Tags: 1800Hoarders.com, attraction, Booze Koozie, Chinatown Newspaper, Clutter Busters, Disgusting Beard, Hoarders, Kleenex, Man vs. Food, Tesla Motors, Tesla the Band, The Heart Attack Grill, Valentine's Day No Comments »
It’s Charles “Mutha Fuckin’” Dickens’s Birthday Yo!
February 7th, 2012 Jason Whitesel Happy goddamn 200th birthday Charles D., you ornery quill pen scribblin’ literary pimp. You’re lookin’ pretty good for being a couple Benjamins old, what’s your secret? Bikram yoga? Damn, that’s pretty badass Chuck. You don’t mind if I call you Chuck do ya? I tried that hot yoga shit once and damn near pulled my — VROOM!
Posted in Books, Comedy, Drinking, History Tags: 2Pac, 40 oz, A Christmas Carol, Avatar, Birthday, Charles Dickens, LA, New York, Notorious BIG, Tale of Two Cities No Comments »New Study Confirms Drinking Linked to Sex, Sun Linked to Daylight
December 14th, 2011 Jesse Jones Alright every body, hold on to your things which are easily ejected from your person by sudden shock from wholly unbelievable news! Socks, hats, balls and all other comically loose items secured? Alright, you can’t say I didn’t warn you. Here goes… Drinking booze, makes people want to fuck, stupidly! I know. I lost nine good — VROOM!
Posted in Alcohol, Drinking, HIV, Science, Sex Tags: AIDS, alcohol, booze, Canadian study, HIV, Jürgen Rehm, sex, socks, stranger danger, umlaut, unsafe sex No Comments »Party People! You Win Some, You Lose Some: Headaches vs. Mistake Babies
December 8th, 2011 Jesse Jones This week has been an uneven one for those who like to party first and deal with party related consequences eventually. We at Van Full of Candy are known to be fans of both “Party” and “Consequences”. The first is fun, the second is hilarious and the combination of the two is often hilariously fun. — VROOM!
Posted in Alcohol, Drinking, Products, Sex, Women's Health Tags: Alka-Seltzer, Asparin, Blowfish, caffeine, clinic, cure, FDA, god, hangover, Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius, Plan B 2 Comments »Would You Like Some Honey in Your Panda Shit Tea?
November 16th, 2011 Jason Whitesel Yesterday, VFoC’s own Jesse J. wrote about China and how they’re completely out of control and making us literally shit our pants. Funny he should say SHIT (I could be paraphrasing), because that’s what China is doing to us, YET AGAIN, today. Not only are WE shitting our pants, but the crazy muthafukkin Chinese, well — VROOM!
