It hardly seems worth making predictions this year. As everyone is surely aware, this year isn’t going to be as long as they have been in the past. You can blame the stupid Mayans and their dumb calendar for that bunk. So with those ten fewer days at the end of not only this year, — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘End of the World’ Category
Van Full of Candy’s End of the World Year Predictions
January 19th, 2012 
Van Full of Candy 
Posted in End of the World, Predictions 
Tags: 2012, Barack Obama, Beaver, cruise ship, Decfember 21st, Donald Trump, End of the world, Facebook, Google, Green Bay Packers, iPhone, Iran, Italy, Love Boat, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Mitt Romney, NCAA, New Orleans Saints, Ryan Seacrest, Santorum, Steve Jobs, Super Bowl, Tim Tebow, Titanic 
No Comments »This Didn't Happen Today in History — November 30th
November 30th, 2011 Jesse Jones November 30th 2012 – After the inadvertent release of indisputable scientific and theological confirmation of the Mayan calendar’s grim prediction of the end of the world and with a now hard, verified three weeks remaining in the very existence of the planet Earth and all of mankind, the peoples of the world, finally seeing above — VROOM!
Posted in End of the World, History Tags: ancient, civilizations, End of the world, future, Mayan Calendar, Ragnarok, theology 1 Comment »This Time For Realzies: Judgement Day, Part 2: The Judgementing
October 20th, 2011 Jesse Jones Uh-oh, remember back in May, how the world was supposed to end with a bunch of goody goodies floating up into heaven and flashing their balls at us? And then remember how that didn’t happen and it was all hilarious? And remember how we all laughed at the guy who said the world was going to end — VROOM!
Posted in End of the World, Paranormal, Religion, Science Tags: atom, Darwin, Einstein, god, Harold Camping, hell, Jesus, Judgement Day, May 21, Newton, science No Comments »AAAHHHHHH!!! (Apocalypse Edition: Parte the Somethingth)
August 2nd, 2011 Jesse Jones It’s the end of the world! Oh sweet Jesus who up until this very moment when you might actually be of some use to me, I have heretofore ignored and denied, IT’S THE END OF THE MONKEY FIGHTING WORLD! Don’t believe me?! Well fuck you! ‘Cause it’s real Jack! You’re dead! I’m dead! We’re all — VROOM!
Posted in Death, End of the World, Predictions, Rants, Religion, Science, Wildlife, World News Tags: angel, apocalypse, Blood Red, Christ, drought, End of the world, flood, gay, god, Jesus, lake, nut candy, old TestamentChromatiacea bacteria, orgy, Rapture, reservoir, river, Texas No Comments »VFoC "LIVE" on The Comedy Buffet's Podcast
June 22nd, 2011 Van Full of Candy The good fellas at The Comedy Buffet were kind enough to let us stink up their otherwise hilarious podcast the other night. We’d like to apologize in advance for our uncontrolable crass behavior, rude language, and complete disregard to fat kids, cross-dressing boys, and religion in general, … yeah right, who am I kidding? Let’s face it, — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Death, End of the World, Headlines, Interview, Opinions, Podcasts, Rants, Religion Tags: Diabetes, End of the world, god, Harold Camping, JDRF, Jesus, KFC, Rapture, Sacramento Comedy Spot, Sam Saurs, Sedgwick Junior High School No Comments »Apple unveils "iLand": You're All Going to Die Here
June 9th, 2011 Jesse Jones Steve Jobs is building a 150 acre compound in Cupertino California to house his 12,000 iTroops for the coming Applegeddon, and there’s precisely not a single damned thing that you or any god being to which you have pledged your eternal soul can do about it. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing people that getting a discount by signing a — VROOM!
Posted in Apple, Conspiracy, End of the World, Science, Technology Tags: Airport, Apple, Applegeddon, Bill Hewlett, california, City Council, Cupertino, David Packard, Devil, Emperor, Gilbert Wong, Highlander, iLand, iPolitician, iTroops, iYear, spaceship, Steve Jobs, Tron 3 Comments »
VFoC Video — “May 21st, 2011 … It’s Rapture Time Sinners”
May 20th, 2011 Van Full of Candy Well as most of the world knows, tomorrow is the second coming of Christ, The Rapture, Judgement Day. Well … according to Harold Camping. Ya’ll ready? Better get repenting real quick like because only about 7% of us (dead or alive) are going to get floated up to Heaven tomorrow. The other 93% of us — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, End of the World, Featured, Predictions, Religion, YouTube Tags: Christ, End of the world, forgiveness, god, Harold Camping, Jesus, Judgement Day, May 21, Nostradamus, Prediction, Rapture, repent, Second coming 4 Comments »Media, It's What's For Dinner
March 4th, 2011 Jason Whitesel Whenever I want to feel good about life, I change the channel; when I want to feel bad, same thing. Zone out, be entertained, updated, shocked, every emotion that I don’t want to look up right now: change the channel. Now the one thing I didn’t say was, FIRST I turn on the TV. I — VROOM!
Posted in Celebrity, End of the World, Media Tags: Angelina Jolie, BP, Channel Surfing, Chile, Dead Birds, Gulf Oil Spill, Haiti, Hollywood, Media, Natural Disasters, TV, Wyclef No Comments »VFoC's Valentine's Day Fun Facts!
February 11th, 2011 Van Full of Candy As I’m sure your Girlfriend has reminded you by now, Monday is Valentine’s Day, the annual celebration of all things heart-shaped and diamond encrusted. And like most ancient American greeting card manufactured celebrations, many of the origins of the holiday have been lost to the annals of history. Thankfully, we at Van Full of Candy are experts at pretending we know things — VROOM!
Posted in End of the World, History, Holiday Tags: Bow & Arrow, Crop Circles, Cupid, Easter Bunny, Firearms, Holidays, Love, Santa, See's Candy, St. Valentine, Valentine's Day 2 Comments »You God Damn Creepy Surgical Mask Wearers
February 1st, 2011 Jason Whitesel Hey there wanna-be-surgeon, you’re scaring the shit out of me with your apocalyptic fashion gear. Would you mind taking it off, you’re scaring the children. Did I somehow not get the memo about some sort of asbestos spill? If there’s some sort of nerve agent loose and I forgot my King of Pop mask, I’m — VROOM!
Posted in End of the World, Products, Rants Tags: 60 Minutes, Asbestos, King of Pop, Kirstie Alley, Surgical Masks No Comments »
