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An Artistic Examination Of “Stuff Being Thrown At My Head”

I don’t know much about art, that much is certain. Really, if you break it down, I don’t know much about much, which in itself is kind of special, which means it’s sort of art, my not knowing anything… Or not. But this is art, and maybe its meaning is deeper than we at first […]

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VFoC’s Dating Advice — Fellahs: Shut-Up

Modern dating is a minefield of dos, do-lesses, don’t dos, never shouldas and the fuck were you thinkings? Odds are, nothing that you do is going to be right and if you ever see the person across that basket of bread sticks again its due mainly to your wanting to interlock your parts over riding your general […]

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Catching Up With Unfinished Van Tangents: Parte the First

It’s been a crazy couple months for Van Full of Candy as you may or may not have noticed. Both members are now freshly moved from their previous addresses, having relocated a total of nearly 400 miles. We’re both on the tale end of transitioning from a bullshit existence, to a slightly different bullshit existence. […]

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Drinking: Too Much vs. Shut Up

Anybody who knows us, knows that we at Van Full of Candy like to party. They’re usually tipped off to this fact by us screaming “WE LIKE TO PARTY!” in their face moments before we collapse and begin to evacuate our bladders into our slacks. Over the years fans of distilled spirits have seen their […]

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Tacos For Tolerance

If telling hispanic latino Mexicanians that you’re going to eat a taco won’t make ‘em happy, then holy frijole, what in the heck will?! Apparently, this week the FBI arrested four East Haven, Connecticut police officers on charges that they “conspired to deprive some residents, particularly Latinos, of their constitutional rights”, including “multiple counts of […]

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Going Green to the Grave

Alrighty hippies, here’s your chance to really put your carbon footprint where your mouth was. A facility in Durham, England is ready to turn your last act of selfish global pollution into the greenest of green energies. Why let your rotting remains just disintegrate in the ground, a skeleton in a fine suit and a […]

Cut It Out China! You're Freaking Us Out!

China is going to murder us from the sky! How do I know? The Googles! The Googles told me! … GOOGLES! Alright, let me back up here, this may require slightly more explanation than me shouting “The Googles” at you until it makes sense. That could take days. Days that WE DON’T HAVE! First, take a […]