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American Public School’s New Science Text Book: Cake

They say that the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. And while anatomy class may disagree, we’re not talking about actual learning here, we’re talking about school! And the plain fact is that the fastest way to an American student’s brain is straight through the pudgy little tum-tum. Originally posted on Your […]

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The Dip of the Damned, A Recipe for Delicious Sadness

This is how I prepared my Super Bowl spread, this exact way. The music may not have actually been playing, I may have just been hearing it in my head, but this, this is how my Sunday went. It wasn’t THAT bad really, All of my best friends were there: no one. Hooray, sport. Originally […]

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South Korean Woman Earns Big On Her Webcam: Just Eating, Not The Other Thing

When you think of ladies and webcam financial success, you would not be wrong to imagine it involving lewd conduct upon themselves: it’s the internet after all. But in South Korea, mok-bang, or “eating broadcast” is an actual thing that some make actual money doing. Originally posted on Your Daily Media Americans love food. We […]

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From Rage Oranges To Shame Milk — Family: Who Needs It?

“If I wanted to see mammals feeding their young with their own self producing lactic fluids I’d go to a god damned zoo and “Awww” at its adorable quaintness on the other side of plexiglass where it belongs! Now feed my wife this god damned hand pealed citrus or I’ll murder every last one of […]

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VFoC Video — “US Army Vet Un-invites Cameron Diaz to “Fondue Fun Night”, Invites Zach Galifianakis”

Holy crap !! When I read today that Justin Timberlake had attended the Marine Corps Ball over the weekend, I thought “Oh my GAWD, did I accidentally stand up Cameron Diaz?”. For whatever crazy reason, I forgot to put the Fondue Fun Night at The Melting Pot in my calendar, but in a fortunate scheduling […]

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Not Even Melon Sex is Safe Anymore

Gone are the days of a good ‘ol fashion melon pounding thanks to this latest punishment to the people, bestowed upon us by a spiteful and vengeful god. You know, I really don’t understand how a melon STD outbreak is even possible, let alone fair. I mean, what the hell is ‘listeria’ anyway? It’s not […]

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HOLY BASTARD! It’s American Cheese Month!

I love two things in this sad mockery of an existence that I do charitably call a life. One is the sound a human soul makes when a person finally realizes that none of their life’s ambiti0ns will ever be met and that their entire being has been one long string of lies to themselves […]