Google’s DeepMind Will Be Here Shortly—To Clean Your Cage, Human Scum

In case you haven’t noticed (and judging by your lack of constant screaming in horror at what is to come, I’ll just assume you haven’t), Google has been amassing quite the catalog of robot parts. I’m sure it’s all innocent enough, at least, that’s what my Google Chip told me to say. Originally posted on […]

Van Full of Candy’s Guide to Van Full of Candy

We like the internet, and judging by the fact that you’re reading this, we can safely assume that you do too. We also know that if you’re anything like us, you’re looking every day for new ways to waste your hours at work pretending to be spread sheeting or otherwise giving a fuck about what you’re […]

Mars' Bio Station Alpha: Confirmation by Denial

There is a secret government space station, manned by a co-operative team of humans, aliens and human alien hybrids working together for no doubt nefarious purposes as we speak… on the surface of Mars! How do I know with absolute, unwavering, blind certainty that the crazy thing that I just said is the only pure, true […]

Our Favorite Search Terms of the Week

Search engines. They’re imprecise, clumsy and ultimately telling of your inner most wants and desires. Your search history is kind of weird and embarrassing, and I’ll give you the same answer that I gave that flasher who lingered a little longer than necessary: no, you can’t look at mine. When you have a website, you get […]