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Van Full of Candy's Guide to Van Full of Candy

August 18th, 2011

Van Full of Candy

We like the internet, and judging by the fact that you’re reading this, we can safely assume that you do too. We also know that if you’re anything like us, you’re looking every day for new ways to waste your hours at work pretending to be spread sheeting or otherwise giving a fuck about what you’re — VROOM!

Posted in Addiction, Facebook, Google, MySpace, Social Media, Twitter, YouTube

Tags: Adam McKay, Al Gore, Cat Video, Comedy Whirled, current TV, Empire Avenue, Facebook, fart, foursquare, Funny or Die, Google, Google Plus, internet, Justin Timberlake, Klout, Linked In, MySpace, pornography, spread sheet, twat, tweet, twit, Twitter, Will Ferrell, WordPress, world wide wed, YouTube, Zuckerburg

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Mars' Bio Station Alpha: Confirmation by Denial

June 7th, 2011

Jesse Jones

There is a secret government space station, manned by a co-operative team of humans, aliens and human alien hybrids working together for no doubt nefarious purposes as we speak… on the surface of Mars! How do I know with absolute, unwavering, blind certainty that the crazy thing that I just said is the only pure, true — VROOM!

Posted in Conspiracy, Google, Government, Space

Tags: Alfred McEwen, Area 51, Bio Station Alpha, cocmis rays, Conspiracy, CVS, David Martines, Fantastic Four, Google Mars, HiRISE, Planetary Lab, rabble, science, space, telescope, YouTube

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Our Favorite Search Terms of the Week

April 11th, 2011

Jesse Jones

Search engines. They’re imprecise, clumsy and ultimately telling of your inner most wants and desires. Your search history is kind of weird and embarrassing, and I’ll give you the same answer that I gave that flasher who lingered a little longer than necessary: no, you can’t look at mine. When you have a website, you get — VROOM!