A heterosexual black male, a gay white male, and a filthy hillbilly male walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type here”. The three men look at each other in confusion, turn to the bartender and say, “Which one of us are you talking to”? And that there my friends lies — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Government’ Category
Better Get Your 'Gaydar' Fixed !!
July 18th, 2011 
Jason Whitesel 
Posted in Comedy, Gay, Government, Headlines, Health, Opinions 
Tags: Aaron Pace, American Red Cross, Bio-Blood Components, Blood, Donation, Gaydar, Heterosexual, Hillbilly, homosexual, Liberace 
No Comments »Your Fake Boobs Are Two Incredibly Beautiful Terrorists
July 6th, 2011 Jason Whitesel What the hell is going on with TSA these days? A couple of months ago they were searching for bombs in baby’s diapers, then they moved on recently to searching for bombs in a 90 year old’s Depends Undergarment. But now … NOW … they’re going to need to start fondling all the ladies with implants. — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Conspiracy, Fashion, Government, Headlines, War on terror Tags: Big Ass, Calista Flockhart, Dolly Parton, Fake Boobs, Implants, Kim Kardashian, Planes, Screening, Security, Terrorists, TSA 1 Comment »Mars' Bio Station Alpha: Confirmation by Denial
June 7th, 2011 Jesse Jones There is a secret government space station, manned by a co-operative team of humans, aliens and human alien hybrids working together for no doubt nefarious purposes as we speak… on the surface of Mars! How do I know with absolute, unwavering, blind certainty that the crazy thing that I just said is the only pure, true — VROOM!
Posted in Conspiracy, Google, Government, Space Tags: Alfred McEwen, Area 51, Bio Station Alpha, cocmis rays, Conspiracy, CVS, David Martines, Fantastic Four, Google Mars, HiRISE, Planetary Lab, rabble, science, space, telescope, YouTube 3 Comments »Wow! What A Wiener, Weiner!
June 6th, 2011 Jason Whitesel New York Congressman, Anthony Weiner, decided he was going to show his pee-pee to some ladies on the interwebs. Apparently he thought women could keep their mouths shut, and I mean that in the most loving way possible, seriously. Let’s just take a quick look at this shit, shall we Weiner? #1. You are a U.S. — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Government, Headlines, Social Media Tags: Anthony Weiner, Facebook, Hilary Clinton, kosher, New York Congressman, penis, shaved chest, Tiger Woods, Twitter 2 Comments »Kirk Cameron vs. Soviet Russia vs. Stephen Hawking vs. Space Aliens vs. Sense of Any Kind
May 19th, 2011 Jesse Jones In American culture, there are two widely accepted sky myth stories. The first of which being that a a giant bearded dude who lives in the clouds said one day “This shit is dark yo, BOOMSHACKALACKA!” and then everything that is happened. Then he made people in his image and decided he didn’t like them and washed — VROOM!
Posted in Celebrity, Conspiracy, Germans, Government, Paranormal, Religion, Space Tags: Annie Jacobsen, area 51 book, blind, god, Growing Pains, iPod, Jesus, Josef Mengele, Kirk Cameron, Left Behind, Nazi, New Mexico, Q-36, Quentin Tarantino, Roswell, Russia, Stephen Hawking, USSR 2 Comments »Look Who's Siiiiiiiiiiiingle !! The Shrivernegger
May 18th, 2011 Jason Whitesel Ok guys calm down, CALM DOWN!! Please get in a single file line and quit shoving each other. I understand now that Maria Shriver is single that we all can’t wait to get our shot at that Kennedy lineage poontang, but please, have some maturity here, Jesus!! Oh, hi there dear reader. I’m just trying — VROOM!
Beware: Exploding Babies
May 11th, 2011 Jesse Jones I don’t do a lot of flying, I have my reasons. One of them, certainly, is the fact that I don’t do a lot of traveling. I don’t think they have a lot of destinationless flights, and if they did, why would they? But when I do go somewhere, which as I’ve stated, I don’t, I — VROOM!
Posted in Busy Body, Government, Religion, Stupid laws, War on terror Tags: Bic, C4, exploding babies, explosives, flying, International, Jacob Jester, Kansas City, Krypton, Reverend, stroller, TSA, Twitter, uproar 2 Comments »Friday The 13th Part IV : Osama Lives
May 2nd, 2011 Jason Whitesel Ok everyone, it’s safe to come outside now. We can now all go back to our regularly scheduled lives. Didn’t you hear? The boogie man is dead. Yeah!! He was all shot up in the head yesterday and then thrown in the ocean. Dead! Done! So now we’re all completely safe once again. Doesn’t it feel good, kinda — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Government, War on terror Tags: Boogie Man, Camping, Friday The 13th, Jason Voorhees, King Triton, Obama, Osama Bin Laden, Snuggle Fabric Softener No Comments »Obama's Birth Certificate Found In a Van Full of Candy
April 27th, 2011 Jason Whitesel Hey everyone, wow, we’re really sorry that this whole Obama/birth certificate thing got so way out of freakin’ control. We forgot that it was in the back of our van the whole time. Whoopsie right?? Silly us, we totally forgot that on one of our last roadtrips, Obama had it in his wallet and let — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Government, Headlines, Updates Tags: Big Mac, Birth Certificate, Cub Scout Promise, DMV, Frames, Obama, President, Roadtrip, USA Comments OffDonald Trump: The President We Deserve
April 26th, 2011 Jesse Jones We can name more Jersey Shore cast members than our state’s Senators. We have commercials telling our kids to go outside and play. We are steaming into the twenty first century, powered by wheezing, poisonous 19th century technology. And the little pocket sized super computer that we bought six months ago, that tiny little thing that would have — VROOM!
Posted in Government, Rants Tags: Bret Michaels, Danny DeVito, Donald Trump, failure penis, Gary Busey, Gene Simmons, high five, Jersey Shore, Lincoln, Omarosa, reality show, Trump No Comments »
