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In Mongolia They Can’t Say “Shit” Now, Like I Just Did

FUCK! Ahhh, there, that felt good. I hadn’t really been able to use my full, luscious vocabulary on the internet in a while. But I’m still better off than folks in some countries, where the first word in this post would probably have gotten their finger-tips hacked off in some sort of public ceremony meant […]

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The Internet Presents: Patty Cake Playing, Bitchy French Dubbed Cats

It’s becoming increasingly obvious that we at Van Full of Candy are doing the internet wrong. More and more I see cat videos (usually much less produced than even the following), with MILLIONS of views. Meanwhile out finely crafted humor comedy jokes wallow in obscurity. Oh Internets, you cruel mistress, we’ll have your fickle love […]

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Stunning Map of the Internet Allows You To Re-Trace Your Pioneering Online Days

What if the world of the world wide web were charted by explorers, mapping out all of the scattered, far flung countries and continents of these craggy, depraved darkened corners of this place we’ve come to call “The Internet”? Well, it’d probably look a little something, like this. Originally posted on Your Daily Media ​I’m […]

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Sorry Folks, Internet’s Closed. Moose Out Front Shoulda Told Ya

It’s unfortunate, we had an incredible article planned for you today. It had dinosaurs, and robots and a bald eagle punching Hitler in the taint with a star spangled boxing glove. We put together a video which showed the two of us hang gliding off of Mount Rushmore, shooting machine guns into the air and […]

A Big Week For Facebook, If Anyone Survives to See It

We like My[_____]. We like it because it’s simple and quiet and uncluttered by unnecessary things like apps or content or other people, as well as all of the reasons we’ve previously stated. I like to go to My[_____] when ever I need to be alone to think about how wrong it all went. It was while tending to our […]

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Get Your Digital Diddle On: It’s Only Natural

Birds do it, bees do it, even perverts in the trees do it. Let’s do it, let’s fuck online. Chances are, if you’re on the internet (which as of this printing is still the only way that I know you could be reading this, though if you know of any others, please let us know), […]