Angry-Crowd

British “Man” Gives Birth: Lose Your Fucking Mind and Hate Him!

We live in an amazing, Technicolor, sci-fi world. A world where you can almost literally be anything you want. I mean, you can’t actually be, say, a cat or a polar bear. But you can dress up like them and fuck other people dressed up like zebras and mice, which is basically all you would […]

valentinehatethumb

Guys Hate Valentine’s Day (Whitney Houston Style)

The official day of love, as told to us by a major greeting card corporation, comes once a year and here we are standing three people deep in an aisle of pink picked over rectangles. We stand there with glazed over eyes, a smidge of drool forming in the corner of our mouths, hoping that […]

Welcome To (Alleged) Fatherhood Justin

MAZELTOV! Oh Justin, we’re so very, very (allegedly) happy for you! I’m sorry this is a couple months late, but to be fair, you’re just finding out about it yourself now aren’t you? Wow, who’d a thunk it? Our little Justin Bieber already a daddy. Seems like just yesterday you were also still a child […]

lovertypethumb

Which Angry, Hurtful, Bitter Lover Type Are You?

We’ve been seeing each other for a while now, 10 1/2 months is an eternity for most relationships. We like to think we’ve been a very attentive partner, but we know there’s been times when we’ve taken you for granted. It’s nothing conscious, it’s not because you’ve gained weight, we think that’s sexy, it means […]

barthumb

Hey Sugar Twat, Can Van Full of Candy Buy You a Drink?

Well, look at this, heaven must be missing it’s sexiest, most charming, best hung angel… ’cause here I am. But seriously though, I couldn’t help but notice you checking me out from across the bar. I get that a lot. I thought I’d make my way over here before you strained something molesting my delicious […]

digiddlethumb

Get Your Digital Diddle On: It’s Only Natural

Birds do it, bees do it, even perverts in the trees do it. Let’s do it, let’s fuck online. Chances are, if you’re on the internet (which as of this printing is still the only way that I know you could be reading this, though if you know of any others, please let us know), […]

The "No Cut Off My Penis" Clause

This is probably the most painful thing I’ve ever had to write, no seriously !! The lady above, Kieu Becker, decided enough was enough with her marriage and decided to whack her husband’s pecker off and throw it in the garbage disposal. But it gets worse! She then decided to turn the garbage disposal on […]