We live in a society where we are being constantly bombarded with sights and sounds, information, flashy lights and bright colors all fighting for our precious attentions. Until very recently Van Full of Candy has only existed in a very small sliver of the noisescape’s peripherie. For the last year you’ve read our words usually on a daily basis — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Media’ Category
Dr. Keith Ablow is Really Angry By How Turned On He Is By Little Girls
August 5th, 2011 
Jesse Jones While browsing the e-www’s this afternoon in search of the ridiculous and wrong to scream at, I stopped, as I often do by FOXnews.com. I stumbled upon an article written by a “Dr.” Keith Ablow with the headline “Dr. Keith: Is Vogue Magazine Creating Pedophiles?” I could do a thousand words on the headline alone; the sensationalizing of — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Busy Body, Media, Opinions, Rants, Self Richeousness, Stupidity 
Tags: Abercrombie and Fitch, Berjuan, Brigette Bardot, cell phone, Dr. Keith, foxnews.com, France, Juicy Couture, Keith Ablow, nipple, pedophile, pimp, Spain, Thylane, Thylane Lena-Rose Loubry-Blondeau, Vogue 
4 Comments »Nicki Minaj "Pullin' a Janet Jackson" on Good Morning America
August 5th, 2011 Jason Whitesel For no other reason than to have a gratuitous boob picture in our post today, here’s Nicki Minaj doing what I’d like to coin right here and now “Pullin’ a Janet Jackson”. And if somebody else has coined it then show me the damned proof, otherwise consider it coined right here and now on this — VROOM!
Posted in Celebrity, Entertainment News, Examination, Media, Music, Rap Tags: Boob, Good Morning America, Implants, Janet Jackson, Nicki Minaj, Tits 4 Comments »Yeah! Rub Your Pie All Up In My Face, Mmmmm !!
July 20th, 2011 Jason Whitesel During a session of love-seat-lounging yesterday, something dawned on me as I watched the “news” on my thin-black-box-of-tummy-plumping’ness. I realized that a good ol’ “pie in the face” has never lost its charm, AND, the most important realization, was that getting “pied” is the ultimate form of putdownery that you really can inflict on thine — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Food, Media, Pranks, Recipes, YouTube Tags: Anita Bryant, Bill Gates, MLB, Mr. Flip, phone hacking scandal, Pie In The Face, Pieing, Rupert Murdoch, Shaving cream, Slapstick, Twitter No Comments »Osama bin Jackin': The Diary of the "Little Terrorist"'s Mind
May 13th, 2011 Jesse Jones Osama bin Laden was just like you and me. Wait. No. What I meant to say is that, you’re no different than Osama bin Laden. NO! No, that’s not it. Okay, let me start over. Osama bin Laden’s penis. It existed. So does yours. If you were born with one. Or if yours wasn’t lost — VROOM!
Posted in Love, Media, War on terror Tags: Abbottabad, Afghanistan, Beard, Bin Laden, burqa, cave, explode, gay, glory hole, Gone Wild, Infidel, jihad, Middle East, Osama, Pakistan, penis, porn, Reuters, Seal Team 6, squirter, suck puppet, Twin Towers, virgins No Comments »Media, It's What's For Dinner
March 4th, 2011 Jason Whitesel Whenever I want to feel good about life, I change the channel; when I want to feel bad, same thing. Zone out, be entertained, updated, shocked, every emotion that I don’t want to look up right now: change the channel. Now the one thing I didn’t say was, FIRST I turn on the TV. I — VROOM!
Posted in Celebrity, End of the World, Media Tags: Angelina Jolie, BP, Channel Surfing, Chile, Dead Birds, Gulf Oil Spill, Haiti, Hollywood, Media, Natural Disasters, TV, Wyclef No Comments »
