Every year there’s a magic number date that the numerological treat special because completely by accident the calendar did something interesting. Most of the time I couldn’t care less and silently root for the passing of this magical day so that I don’t have to hear about it again for another hundred years. But this year is — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category
Well, Tomorrow's One Better, Isn't it?
November 10th, 2011 
Jesse Jones 
Posted in Holiday, Movies, Paranormal 
Tags: 11/11/11, 11:11, celestial, crystal, David St. Hubbins, Derek Smalls, Midwayer, Movember, new age, Nigel Tufnel, Spinal Tap, Spirit Guardians, This is Spinal Tap 
No Comments »Pornflix … I Mean … Netflix !!
October 24th, 2011 Jason Whitesel You like Netflix? I like Netflix. All I know is that they need a new “genre” in their schtick, and that’s the one that would have kept them from losing 800,000 subscribers. For reals. Remember when you were a kid and you’d go to the movie rental store? In my case it was a furniture — VROOM!
Van Full of Candy's Celebrity Sex Tape Auditions
October 19th, 2011 Jason Whitesel First it was Pamela & Tommy, then Paris, and then that one Kardashian chick. Rock stars, television stars, and others who ride the coattails of their father and become reality TV stars. Two glaring things stick out like a sore thumb … that I’m assuming have been smashed by a hammer, because how else would — VROOM!
Posted in Celebrity, Comedy, Movies, Porn, Sex Tags: Auditions, Celebrity Sex Tapes, Idioms, Kim Kardashian, Pam Anderson, Paris Hilton, Sore Thumb, Tommy Lee, With Your Thumb Up Your Ass No Comments »When Horror Movies Go Porn (Netflix Style)
September 24th, 2011 Van Full of Candy Hey kids, sorry about not posting anything for your junkie fix on Friday … here’s a little orgasmic Van Full of Candy teaser for ya !!
Posted in Comedy, Movies, Porn Tags: Bungalow Of The Damned, Movie Night, Netflix, Orgasm No Comments »Brad Pitt : The Movie … Right?
September 12th, 2011 Jason Whitesel In our many drives up and down this country’s most awesome state of Californyeaye (no offense NY in lieu of the 10 year) we see many great things , and being that half of the van is based GawdDammHollywood bitches we see a lot of movie-stars and boring shit like that. Yeah boring, I said it — VROOM!
Posted in Brad Pitt, Celebrity, Movies Tags: Academy Awards, Billboards, Brad Pitt, Moneyball, Montana, Oakland A's 1 Comment »Burn Baby, Burn! (Hitler Inferno)
July 21st, 2011 Jesse Jones Human beings have kind of a sick obsession with dead bodies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster, I get that the rapidly decaying, lifeless corpse over there used to belong to someone you had some fondness for. But at no point forward will that bio degrading fleshy mound of used ta was, ever — VROOM!
Posted in Death, Examination, Germans, Movies, Unpopular Stand Tags: Captain America, cremation, dead baby, Dixie cup, Germany, Hitler, Lutheran church, Marlan J Gary, Marvel, morgue, Nazi, neo-Nazis, promotion, Rudolf Hess, The First Avenger, tie-in, zombified 3 Comments »VFoC's Oscar Predictstravaganza!
February 25th, 2011 Van Full of Candy It’s Oscar time again, the glittering jewel in the crown of Award Season. The time when all of the biggest names in the flicker shows all get together and give each other trophies of naked faceless men. And we at Van Full of Candy are legally obligated to lift our faces skyward and take notice of — VROOM!
Posted in Awards Season, Entertainment News, Movies, Predictions Tags: Academy Awards, Hitler, Inception, Nazi, Oscars, Predictions, Social Network, The King's Speech, True Grit 1 Comment »Supour Heroues
January 31st, 2011 Jesse Jones First: I’m the bloody Batgent, guv’na! Then: Spider-Lad, Spider-Lad, does what ever is not unbecoming of a Spider-Lad to do! And now… Look, up in the air, it’s a parrot! It’s a sky lorry! No, it’s – Superbloke! What in the name of god’s three color butt hole is going on here!? Batman, Superman, Spider-Man. Three fictional — VROOM!
