Well, Tomorrow's One Better, Isn't it?

Every year there’s a magic number date that the numerological treat special because completely by accident the calendar did something interesting. Most of the time I couldn’t care less and silently root for the passing of this magical day so that I don’t have to hear about it again for another hundred years. But this year is […]

Van Full of Candy's Celebrity Sex Tape Auditions

First it was Pamela & Tommy, then Paris, and then that one Kardashian chick. Rock stars, television stars, and others who ride the coattails of their father and become reality TV stars. Two glaring things stick out like a sore thumb … that I’m assuming have been smashed by a hammer, because how else would […]

Burn Baby, Burn! (Hitler Inferno)

Human beings have kind of a sick obsession with dead bodies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster, I get that the rapidly decaying, lifeless corpse over there used to belong to someone you had some fondness for. But at no point forward will that bio degrading fleshy mound of used ta was, ever […]

VFoC's Oscar Predictstravaganza!

It’s Oscar time again, the glittering jewel in the crown of Award Season. The time when all of the biggest names in the flicker shows all get together and give each other trophies of naked faceless men. And we at Van Full of Candy are legally obligated to lift our faces skyward and take notice of […]

Supour Heroues

First: I’m the bloody Batgent, guv’na! Then: Spider-Lad, Spider-Lad, does what ever is not unbecoming of a Spider-Lad to do! And now… Look, up in the air, it’s a parrot! It’s a sky lorry! No, it’s — Superbloke! What in the name of god’s three color butt hole is going on here!? Batman, Superman, Spider-Man. Three fictional […]