Awww baby, don’t be sad. We had to go away for you. I know it doesn’t make sense baby, but we had to go away so that we could give you somethin’ good. You understand, don’t ya baby? We missed you hard. Real hard. Think of how much you missed us, then multiply it by — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Music’ Category
Martin Luther King Jr. Disses America
August 22nd, 2011 
Jason Whitesel Today was an historic day as the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial was unveiled to the public today at the National Mall in Washington D.C. . It is an awesome 30 foot granite statue of MLK Jr. showing his strength, and it’s based upon the “I have a dream” speech. Perhaps the way I view — VROOM!
Posted in Headlines, Holiday, Music, Star Wars 
Tags: Dissing, Han Solo, MLK Jr. Memorial, RUN DMC 
No Comments »For the Last Time: Kanye West is Not Hitler
August 8th, 2011 Jesse Jones People, this has simply got to stop. It seems a week doesn’t go by that I don’t have to step up and say the unpopular, but almost impossibly obvious to one and all: Kanye West is not Hitler. I thought we went over this. I thought we had all come to an understanding, that while Kanye — VROOM!
Posted in Conspiracy, Music, Unpopular Stand Tags: Big Chill, genocide, Hitler, Jews, Kanye West, Kingye Best, music festival, Not Hitler No Comments »Nicki Minaj "Pullin' a Janet Jackson" on Good Morning America
August 5th, 2011 Jason Whitesel For no other reason than to have a gratuitous boob picture in our post today, here’s Nicki Minaj doing what I’d like to coin right here and now “Pullin’ a Janet Jackson”. And if somebody else has coined it then show me the damned proof, otherwise consider it coined right here and now on this — VROOM!
Posted in Celebrity, Entertainment News, Examination, Media, Music, Rap Tags: Boob, Good Morning America, Implants, Janet Jackson, Nicki Minaj, Tits 4 Comments »An Open Letter To Katy Perry & Kenny G : Last Friday Night
June 20th, 2011 Jason Whitesel Dear Super-Hott Katy Perry & That Spiral Permed Douchebag Kenny G.: I was so fuckin’ pissed quite disappointed today when I finally got to see your new, super perky, bubble-gum 80′s themed music video “Last Friday Night”. Now don’t get me wrong, there was absolutely NOTHING you did personally wrong Katy, I mean, you were so pettable in — VROOM!
VFoC Video — “Introducing … The Audition Guy!!”
June 17th, 2011 Van Full of Candy When you work hard and put in your time, good things usually happen to you. Here at Van Full of Candy we have a really dedicated young man who really, really wants to make it big time in the entertaiment world in any way shape or form that they’ll take him. You may remember him — VROOM!
The "Justify Your Existence" Tours – Britney and Charlie, on the Road.
March 30th, 2011 Jesse Jones The live concert. It’s where you make your connection with the artist, where you, for one brief shining moment, share the same space with your heroes and become a part of one another’s world. Then, afterwards, you drunkenly limp around Lot F all night looking for your car which six hours and nine, $15 beers ago you parked in Lot B, while Ricky — VROOM!
Posted in Charlie Sheen, Entertainment News, Music Tags: $15 beers, apocalypse, ballet, Britney Spears, Charlie Sheen, explosion, NASCAR, opera, porn stars, rockstar, tour No Comments »Oooh, Oooh, Pick Me Teacher, Pick Me!
March 8th, 2011 Jason Whitesel It seems that every few months or so another headline pops up about some “inappropriate” female teacher getting it on with their prepubescent male students. What the hell is going on these days? Is there some sort of weird ‘hot for student’ bug going around? AND WHERE IN THE HELL WERE THESE TEACHERS WHEN I — VROOM!
Posted in Education, Headlines, Music, Opinions, Rants Tags: Detention, Drinking, French Horn, High School, Hot Teacher, Hungry Hungry Hippos, Jean Nate, Music Teacher, Recess, Subway Sandwich, Tutor 1 Comment »A Critical Examination of the Bruno Mars Song "Grenade"
March 2nd, 2011 Jesse Jones Pop music was first invented when a trio of our early, ape like ancestor, while trying to impress the least hideous of the tribe’s women, all simultaneously, and quite by accident, sat on their balls, produced a strangely melodic high pitched howl. In those early days the genre was very hard on it’s pioneering performers, but the reward was all — VROOM!
Posted in Examination, Music Tags: ancestors, ape like, Bruno, green eggs and ham, Grenade, Mars, reproductive organs, testicles No Comments »
