Every year there’s a magic number date that the numerological treat special because completely by accident the calendar did something interesting. Most of the time I couldn’t care less and silently root for the passing of this magical day so that I don’t have to hear about it again for another hundred years. But this year is — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Paranormal’ Category
Uh-oh, remember back in May, how the world was supposed to end with a bunch of goody goodies floating up into heaven and flashing their balls at us? And then remember how that didn’t happen and it was all hilarious? And remember how we all laughed at the guy who said the world was going to end — VROOM!
In American culture, there are two widely accepted sky myth stories. The first of which being that a a giant bearded dude who lives in the clouds said one day “This shit is dark yo, BOOMSHACKALACKA!” and then everything that is happened. Then he made people in his image and decided he didn’t like them and washed — VROOM!
I’m a scientist. And you know what? So are you. You see, the heavy lifting of being a scientist isn’t in proving something as fact, most science isn’t fact. Or in discovering something new, you know how hard that shit is? Most of the stuff around you’s probably been discovered by somebody already. No, what — VROOM!
As North America’s foremost certified amateur paranormal investigators (one of the litany of things you have to register for when you buy a windowless van), we at Van Full of Candy feel that it is our sacred responsibility to help safe guard you, our valued fans as best we can from the scourges of your own potentially haunted personal — VROOM!