The official day of love, as told to us by a major greeting card corporation, comes once a year and here we are standing three people deep in an aisle of pink picked over rectangles. We stand there with glazed over eyes, a smidge of drool forming in the corner of our mouths, hoping that — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category
Hey Sugar Twat, Can Van Full of Candy Buy You a Drink?
October 14th, 2011 
Jesse Jones Well, look at this, heaven must be missing it’s sexiest, most charming, best hung angel… ’cause here I am. But seriously though, I couldn’t help but notice you checking me out from across the bar. I get that a lot. I thought I’d make my way over here before you strained something molesting my delicious — VROOM!
Posted in Alcohol, Bar Scene, Comedy, Love, Poetry, Sex 
Tags: bar, fellatio, foreplay, mace, Old Milwaukee, Sexy, sexy kung fu body guards, super model, taser, Taurus 
No Comments »And Ode To The Slurpee
July 11th, 2011 Jason Whitesel My dearest Slurpee, you’ve been my friend for many, many years And on this day, when Slurpees are free, I am always brought to tears – I drive around to dozens of 7-11’s today all within my town Getting my fix of sugar and artificial color which makes my face look like a clown - — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Food, Holiday, Poetry Tags: 7-11, Birthday, Brainfreeze, Fanta, Free Slurpee Day, Mountain Dew, Pepsi, Slurpee, Twizzler 1 Comment »
