It hardly seems worth making predictions this year. As everyone is surely aware, this year isn’t going to be as long as they have been in the past. You can blame the stupid Mayans and their dumb calendar for that bunk. So with those ten fewer days at the end of not only this year, — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Predictions’ Category
Van Full of Candy’s End of the World Year Predictions
January 19th, 2012 
Van Full of Candy 
Posted in End of the World, Predictions 
Tags: 2012, Barack Obama, Beaver, cruise ship, Decfember 21st, Donald Trump, End of the world, Facebook, Google, Green Bay Packers, iPhone, Iran, Italy, Love Boat, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Mitt Romney, NCAA, New Orleans Saints, Ryan Seacrest, Santorum, Steve Jobs, Super Bowl, Tim Tebow, Titanic 
No Comments »Tomorrow's Bullies: Start Your Engines — 2011's Most Popular Baby Names
December 1st, 2011 Jesse Jones Babies, you have to call them something, and “Dream Murdering Booze Accident” gets confusing as their numbers multiply. So we give them more vague names based almost entirely on our own whims. We made the thing, we should get to scar it for life with the poorly thought out label we’ll be writing into the back of its underwear for decades. — VROOM!
Posted in History, Predictions Tags: Aiden, Baby Names, Elizabeth, George, Second Amendment, Slam Dunk, Sophia, William No Comments »AAAHHHHHH!!! (Apocalypse Edition: Parte the Somethingth)
August 2nd, 2011 Jesse Jones It’s the end of the world! Oh sweet Jesus who up until this very moment when you might actually be of some use to me, I have heretofore ignored and denied, IT’S THE END OF THE MONKEY FIGHTING WORLD! Don’t believe me?! Well fuck you! ‘Cause it’s real Jack! You’re dead! I’m dead! We’re all — VROOM!
Posted in Death, End of the World, Predictions, Rants, Religion, Science, Wildlife, World News Tags: angel, apocalypse, Blood Red, Christ, drought, End of the world, flood, gay, god, Jesus, lake, nut candy, old TestamentChromatiacea bacteria, orgy, Rapture, reservoir, river, Texas No Comments »
VFoC Video — “May 21st, 2011 … It’s Rapture Time Sinners”
May 20th, 2011 Van Full of Candy Well as most of the world knows, tomorrow is the second coming of Christ, The Rapture, Judgement Day. Well … according to Harold Camping. Ya’ll ready? Better get repenting real quick like because only about 7% of us (dead or alive) are going to get floated up to Heaven tomorrow. The other 93% of us — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, End of the World, Featured, Predictions, Religion, YouTube Tags: Christ, End of the world, forgiveness, god, Harold Camping, Jesus, Judgement Day, May 21, Nostradamus, Prediction, Rapture, repent, Second coming 4 Comments »VFoC's Oscar Predictstravaganza!
February 25th, 2011 Van Full of Candy It’s Oscar time again, the glittering jewel in the crown of Award Season. The time when all of the biggest names in the flicker shows all get together and give each other trophies of naked faceless men. And we at Van Full of Candy are legally obligated to lift our faces skyward and take notice of — VROOM!
Posted in Awards Season, Entertainment News, Movies, Predictions Tags: Academy Awards, Hitler, Inception, Nazi, Oscars, Predictions, Social Network, The King's Speech, True Grit 1 Comment »Van Full of Candy's 2011 Predictions
January 14th, 2011 Van Full of Candy With the new year, a lot of people like to make predictions about the upcoming hellscape that will be the coming trip around the sun. Impotently grasping for meaning and some illusion of control or understanding in a world where absolutely nothing makes sense. And we’re no different, except for how we’re exactly nothing at — VROOM!
Posted in Predictions Tags: acetaminophen, Ashville, bible, Bin Laden, bird flu, CBS, Charlie Sheen, China, CSI, Dick Van Patten, Eight is Enough, Greenland, Hollywood, Jesus Christ, Justin Bieber, Kardashian, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga, Law & Order, LeBron James, Michael Vick, Milwaukee Bucks, National Enquirer, NBC, Octamom, Pottery Barn, SPCA, Sting, Ted Williams, Two and a Half Men, Viagra, Zach Galifianakis, zebra 1 Comment »
