With the NFL lockout finally coming to an end this week, teams have been frantically signing and trading players in a feeding frenzy unseen in the history of the league as they get ready for the start of the 2011 NFL season, just six weeks away. Among all of the confusion of blockbuster trades and free agent signings we have learned just this afternoon — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category
Your regularly scheduled Van Full of Candy Thursday post has been temporarily delayed due to a sudden, raging Soccer on… We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, we just love Soccer so very, very much. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the Soccer room to Soccer one out… USA! USA! USA!
Soon helmet giveaways at the ballpark won’t just be novelty promotions, but mandatory equipment given out before every game to protect lunatics from accidentally murdering themselves diving from rafters for collectible garbage. I don’t know if you’ve heard the news, but there’s a hot new trend at the nation’s basedballing sport complexes: face diving onto cement from heights — VROOM!
Move over LeBron James, there’s a new King in town, and he goes by the name “Dirk”. This seven foot homeless man from Germany reeks of malt liquor, sleeps in alleys, but by dumb luck has now found a new home in the NBA with the Dallas Mavericks. HEY! This American beer is like pisswater. Dirk, otherwise — VROOM!
You know that mustard and salami sandwich you enjoyed so much for lunch? How about high speed internet? Trail Mix? The carpool lane? Cupcake shops? Digital billboards? Cup o’ Chili? The soft cast? You like all those things? Well, you probably don’t know that you have “Iron” Mike Tyson to thank for all of it. “Taking on — VROOM!
During my customary afternoon search for all cock related news stories, I came upon a rather ridiculous article. The basics of the story all fit together like well worn pieces of your classic, run of the mill stupid criminal news Madlib: Two guys pulled over for a routine traffic stop, cops see something suspicious in — VROOM!
The 45th Super Bowl airing this Sunday between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers will be one of the most historic of all time. This Super Bowl will have the 40th President of the United States for their halftime show. What’s this, you ask? How can Ronald Reagan be the entertainment for — VROOM!
Barry Kalinowski, the world’s most unlucky NFL football photographer, surprisingly announced his retirement today after covering the game for 34 years. After graduating from Albuquerque Technical Vocational Institute (TVI) in 1975, Barry started his photography career at Picture Your Pet, a small studio in Roswell, New Mexico. “Dogs were impossible. Those dang dogs would just — VROOM!