Oh boy, are you in for an extra special, super sensational treat of an occasion of an extravaganza! You’ve joined me just in time to witness the introduction to you, our fine, loyal, theoretical fan, of my very own all new brand of sugary snacking cakes! They’re going to be a delicious chocolate brownie, smothered — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
Go Ahead And Hate Your Neighbor
March 20th, 2012 
Jesse Jones Yesterday morning I started my week as every gravy blooded, American man, woman and child should: with a good stiff drive by fingering. Now I’m no saint, and I’m certainly no stranger to road rage, but I do believe that in this case, and by every measurable criteria, that this response was largely unwarranted. I — VROOM!
Posted in Anger, Stupidity 
Tags: 405, flip off, Hollywood Boulevard, pedestrian, the finger 
No Comments »
Tacos For Tolerance
January 25th, 2012 Jesse Jones If telling hispanic latino Mexicanians that you’re going to eat a taco won’t make ‘em happy, then holy frijole, what in the heck will?! Apparently, this week the FBI arrested four East Haven, Connecticut police officers on charges that they “conspired to deprive some residents, particularly Latinos, of their constitutional rights”, including “multiple counts of — VROOM!
Posted in Examination, Stupidity Tags: Connecticut, David Rosen, East Haven, hispanic, Joseph Maturo, latino, Matt DeRienzo, New England, racist, tacos, Tijuana 2 Comments »
From Rage Oranges To Shame Milk — Family: Who Needs It?
January 11th, 2012 Jesse Jones “If I wanted to see mammals feeding their young with their own self producing lactic fluids I’d go to a god damned zoo and “Awww” at its adorable quaintness on the other side of plexiglass where it belongs! Now feed my wife this god damned hand pealed citrus or I’ll murder every last one of — VROOM!
Posted in Family, Food, Health, Stupidity Tags: breast feeding, Hocking County, Ohio, orange, Paul David Gilkey, Sesame Street No Comments »The War on Fake Drugs Doesn't Claim Another Victim
October 28th, 2011 Jesse Jones Before we get started let me just say I am not mocking the death of a thirteen year old boy here. I would just like to make that perfectly clear right away. I don’t know how many times just this week I’ve been wrongfully accused of celebrating teen deaths and I’m sick of it. It — VROOM!
Posted in Death, Opinions, Rants, Stupidity, Unpopular Stand Tags: 13 year-old, Batman, K2, Lego, lung transplant, marijuana, news, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, Spice, synthetic, Two Face 2 Comments »This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things (Stupidity On Parade)
October 25th, 2011 Jesse Jones Stupid people come in all shapes and sizes. In fact, stupid people are just like you and me… Alright, who’m I kidding, they’re nothing like me, and for me to even suggest that they could be is just stupid. And of course, since you had the head full of smarty brains to come here and — VROOM!
Posted in Alcohol, Class, Stupidity Tags: $100, Babeland, baby seat, Benajamins, bet, bullet vibe, Copper Lincolns, dare, HPV, Jill Filipovic, luggage, New Jersey, park, stupid, Transportation Security Administration, TSA No Comments »Lesbians Take Down Plane With Heat Seeking Kissle
September 27th, 2011 Jesse Jones “Get these monkey fightin’ lesbians off this Monday through Friday plane!” The greatest threat to American air travel, right now, as I am typing this very important piece of internet fluffery, is not exploding shoes, or slightly larger than tiny bottles of shampoo, or the stinky guy. No, commercial air travel enemy number one, is — VROOM!
Posted in Busy Body, Gay, Stupidity Tags: airlines, dirigibles, excessive, kiss, Leisha Hailey, lesbian, Southwest, the L word No Comments »One Million Moms Hate Balls
September 22nd, 2011 Jesse Jones During the winter break of my Sophomore year at the University of Nevada, Reno (go fighting Soft Sixteens!) I took a backpacking excursion through the inhospitable wilderness of the South American rainforest. I hiked for nine days with my trusty guide Tuo Uu-nu Eepchak. I was but a fool child, ill prepared for the conditions I would face — VROOM!
It's Never Too Early to Learn That You're Not Good Enough
August 25th, 2011 Jesse Jones Hey you, portly meat child, put down that bacon glazed ham turkey and mash your thick, meaty fingers into the keyboard over here, I’ve got something to tell you: You’re not okay! Did you know that people hate fats. They do. Especially fat children. Nobody hates anything in this world more than they hate rotund rotoddlers. — VROOM!
Posted in Books, Busy Body, Stupidity Tags: Body Mass Index, chubby, diet, Do not Dread Wetting the Bed, fatty, Maggie Goes on a Diet, Obese, Paul Kramer 1 Comment »Dr. Keith Ablow is Really Angry By How Turned On He Is By Little Girls
August 5th, 2011 Jesse Jones While browsing the e-www’s this afternoon in search of the ridiculous and wrong to scream at, I stopped, as I often do by FOXnews.com. I stumbled upon an article written by a “Dr.” Keith Ablow with the headline “Dr. Keith: Is Vogue Magazine Creating Pedophiles?” I could do a thousand words on the headline alone; the sensationalizing of — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Busy Body, Media, Opinions, Rants, Self Richeousness, Stupidity Tags: Abercrombie and Fitch, Berjuan, Brigette Bardot, cell phone, Dr. Keith, foxnews.com, France, Juicy Couture, Keith Ablow, nipple, pedophile, pimp, Spain, Thylane, Thylane Lena-Rose Loubry-Blondeau, Vogue 4 Comments »
