Before we get started let me just say I am not mocking the death of a thirteen year old boy here. I would just like to make that perfectly clear right away. I don’t know how many times just this week I’ve been wrongfully accused of celebrating teen deaths and I’m sick of it. It […]
Seriously… Knock it off. We get that everyone’s created equal and that it’s a beautiful thing and that we should all celebrate each other’s differences even though we’re equal and beautiful just the way we differently are. And that’s beautiful. In an equal kind of way. A way that doesn’t discriminate against any other beautiful […]
People, this has simply got to stop. It seems a week doesn’t go by that I don’t have to step up and say the unpopular, but almost impossibly obvious to one and all: Kanye West is not Hitler. I thought we went over this. I thought we had all come to an understanding, that while Kanye […]
Human beings have kind of a sick obsession with dead bodies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster, I get that the rapidly decaying, lifeless corpse over there used to belong to someone you had some fondness for. But at no point forward will that bio degrading fleshy mound of used ta was, ever […]
It’s no secret that Van Full of Candy is a supporter of hot teachers. It’s a brave, bold stance that we have long taken when ever a poor, misunderstood educator is arrested for doing things that we wish had been done to us in school. Of course we couldn’t possibly defend EVERY apple polishing head mistress every time we […]
“Thank you for calling ACME typewriter company, this is Betty, how can I direct your call?” … How about you be a good girl and fetch me a nice hot cup of jo sweetie, and this time do it the way I like it … two sugars!! Thanks doll. Oh, and if Mr. Smith calls tell him […]
Disclaimer: This is going to be a long, angry, fed up rant. If that’s your kind of thing, please feel free to enjoy. If this isn’t your idea of a fun internet time, have one of these: And we’ll see you tomorrow. For those sticking with us, let’s begin… Settle down. Right now. Cut it out […]
During my customary afternoon search for all cock related news stories, I came upon a rather ridiculous article. The basics of the story all fit together like well worn pieces of your classic, run of the mill stupid criminal news Madlib: Two guys pulled over for a routine traffic stop, cops see something suspicious in […]