It’s a sad day when teenage girls feel the need to post videos asking others if they think the girl is pretty or ugly. Girls, you are not judged by what you look like! You are not a “Pretty” or “Ugly” status, just ask Angelina Jolie, she’ll tell you. So in an effort to understand — VROOM!
Archive for the ‘Videos’ Category
Hey, remember that thing last Saturday that I was bugging you with regular updates on for like, 14 hours? Of course not, you don’t pay attention to us on the weekends. Well here’s that thing. Our entry into The Sacramento Comedy Spot‘s 14 Hour Comedy Challenge! Saturday morning at 8 am we received a video — VROOM!
Carnival folk, they live a life that most of us could never imagine. Subsiding on the corn dogs, cotton candy and popcorn left over at the end of the night and spending what little money they make assembling rickety fun wheels in department store parking lots, on home made, bathtub speed. It’s the kind of — VROOM!
Corrupt cops in the pockets of the criminals who’re REALLY running the streets. A system designed to protect the guilty even more than the innocent. In a world gone mad, maybe it’s the bat shit craziest ass hole who’s really the sanest of them all! Shooting first and not asking questions, kicking ass and not taking — VROOM!
You’re at a party, you don’t know anybody except Jim, Jose and Bud. You’re fine with that, but some folks like to “strike up conversations” and “talk to other human beings”. Some others still have tricks that make you start talking to them. These devious cunts make uncomfortable, awkward conversation SEEM like YOUR IDEA! Not — VROOM!
Holy crap !! When I read today that Justin Timberlake had attended the Marine Corps Ball over the weekend, I thought “Oh my GAWD, did I accidentally stand up Cameron Diaz?”. For whatever crazy reason, I forgot to put the Fondue Fun Night at The Melting Pot in my calendar, but in a fortunate scheduling — VROOM!
Awww baby, don’t be sad. We had to go away for you. I know it doesn’t make sense baby, but we had to go away so that we could give you somethin’ good. You understand, don’t ya baby? We missed you hard. Real hard. Think of how much you missed us, then multiply it by — VROOM!
Something miraculous came to me this weekend. It came to me in the way of divine intervention sent straight from the Creator himself as my mind was magically opened to see something that has been inconspicuously floating around our planet for about 40 years. Something that is so awe inspiring that only a worthy clairvoyant hand picked by — VROOM!
Idiot #1: How do you like my new hair cut Moron #2? Moron #2: That is quite a finely cut set of hairs Idiot #1. I would go so far as to call that haircut “awesome”. Us: Hey idiot. Lookie here moron. You’re wrong; shut the fuck up. Has this kind of thing happened to — VROOM!