Like drying paint watching grass grow, the “excitement” of “FootGolf” is coming to a “town” near “you”. Hey! You got your boring in my monotonous! No, you got your monotonous in my boring! Two lame tastes that taste lame together. Too old for soccer? Too young for golf? We’ve got the solution that no one asked for!
Quick, name me the two most boring sports you can think of! Go!
Alright, now, if you’re like me, without even stopping to think, the words “Soccer” and “Golf” erupted from your face like they’d been waiting all your life for you to ask this very question. But apparently the collective yawn that we all heard in our heads was the sound of a money making opportunity for a Minnesota man who is convinced that these two great flavors will taste great together. And the name of that flavor is “FootGolf”!
“With the amount of kids that love to play soccer,” Rick Sitek, Bloomington, Minnesota’s “golf manager” told someone who imagined they’d do more with their journalism degree. “And 30-somethings who still like kicking around a ball, it’s a natural.”
But as easy as it is for me to mock this “sport” (and believe me, this is SUPER easy), it’s actually something that DOES seem to be catching on in (wait for it) Europe (surprise). A World Cup of FootGolf was even played in 2012 and the States even has it’s ownAmerican FootGolf League.
And based on the “success” Bloomington’s Hyland Greens Golf Course had last year (after converting their back 9 into a FootGolf field), where they sold a WHOPPING 103 season passes to the rabid FootGolf enthusiasts, it seems that this soccer hybrid is having just as much mainstream American success as it’s parent game.
“With 85,000 people in Bloomington,” Mr. Sitek said. “I thought we would have done better than that.”
And with 314 million people in the United States, people have been thinking for decades that soccer would do better than a something that parents are forced to drive their kids to on weekends until they get old enough to discover actual sports. Or dating, or really anything else that they could possibly do with six hours on a Saturday. So nice try, fledgling golf course owners. Better luck with your next idea. Maybe you could try something more exciting next time, like, oh, I don’t know, how about a cemetery.