I’ll Take a Pink Slime Pounder, Large Fries, and Large Cup of Ammonia

How come I have to read about this fucking story a few hours after eating a Quarter Pounder with Cheese for lunch? Why? Because it’s God’s way of pecking me to death. Thanks God.

Enter … Pink Slime.

Ronald McDonald's Bowel Movement

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to McDonald’s drive-thru, Mickey D’s has done it again. Like JAWS lurking below in the dark depths of the ocean, we all swim on the surface ignorant in our trans fat day comas, the happy red and yellow clown keeps putting shit in his food that kills us alive. Thanks Ronald.

If it's safe to play with, it's safe to eat.
This time, the yumminess that’s been inserted into my #5 value meal looks like Bazooka Bubble Gum but not as sweet, or maybe it is, but I haven’t had a spoonful of it in it’s natural habitat. It’s all the parts of a cow that are deemed unworthy of human consumption. It’s the parts that they use to make dog food out of. It’s the parts that make my McD.L.T. taste so damn … tasty. All the scraps and hooves and bones and fat and sinew are cut from meat that gets sold for steaks and that shiny wet cat food. Those scraps are then taken to a meat dry-cleaner where they separate the “meat” from the fat, give it a bath in ammonia and call it safe. Yay!

Oh wait, this just in. McDonald’s has just put out a statement claiming “This product has been out of our supply chain since August of last year”. Instead, they’re using Slimey Pink.

Yeah!! Grind that bitch up!!