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The Internet Presents: Patty Cake Playing, Bitchy French Dubbed Cats

It’s becoming increasingly obvious that we at Van Full of Candy are doing the internet wrong. More and more I see cat videos (usually much less produced than even the following), with MILLIONS of views. Meanwhile out finely crafted humor comedy jokes wallow in obscurity. Oh Internets, you cruel mistress, we’ll have your fickle love […]

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Crisis in the Holy Land: Biebs vs. Heebs

As regular readers know, we at Van Full of Candy have a love, hate, stab, caress relationship with a certain young pop super star whose name shall be mentioned many dozen times throughout this article. Whether it’s his disappointment in and hatred of rape victims, or his world shaking follicle styling decisions, we have been there every […]

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Terrorific!

The Department of Homeland Security, the guys responsible for you having to mail yourself your own deoderant and the reason you have an entire hall closet dedicated to your plastic sheeting and duct tape storage, announced this week that they will begin phasing out their color coded terror alert system, and doing away with it completely […]