Wow, I can’t believe that it’s been four whole years since we started dating. It only seems like yesterday when your camera only had 2 megapixels and you still had your cute baby fat which I was really attracted to. You were such a simpler girlfriend back then, so much nicer, you used to be — VROOM!
Posts Tagged ‘Hollywood’
Happy Birthday iPhone, You Skinny Bitch
June 29th, 2011 
Jason Whitesel 
Posted in Apple, Comedy, Holiday, Love, Products, Technology 
Tags: Anniversary, Apple, Apps, Birthday, Hollywood, iPhone, iPhone 4, Shazam 
No Comments »Media, It's What's For Dinner
March 4th, 2011 Jason Whitesel Whenever I want to feel good about life, I change the channel; when I want to feel bad, same thing. Zone out, be entertained, updated, shocked, every emotion that I don’t want to look up right now: change the channel. Now the one thing I didn’t say was, FIRST I turn on the TV. I — VROOM!
Posted in Celebrity, End of the World, Media Tags: Angelina Jolie, BP, Channel Surfing, Chile, Dead Birds, Gulf Oil Spill, Haiti, Hollywood, Media, Natural Disasters, TV, Wyclef No Comments »Van Full of Candy's 2011 Predictions
January 14th, 2011 Van Full of Candy With the new year, a lot of people like to make predictions about the upcoming hellscape that will be the coming trip around the sun. Impotently grasping for meaning and some illusion of control or understanding in a world where absolutely nothing makes sense. And we’re no different, except for how we’re exactly nothing at — VROOM!
Posted in Predictions Tags: acetaminophen, Ashville, bible, Bin Laden, bird flu, CBS, Charlie Sheen, China, CSI, Dick Van Patten, Eight is Enough, Greenland, Hollywood, Jesus Christ, Justin Bieber, Kardashian, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga, Law & Order, LeBron James, Michael Vick, Milwaukee Bucks, National Enquirer, NBC, Octamom, Pottery Barn, SPCA, Sting, Ted Williams, Two and a Half Men, Viagra, Zach Galifianakis, zebra 1 Comment »
