Evolution, it’s happening right now, right under our stupid little noses, which will naturally one day evolve the ability to smell color so that the blind can understand rainbows. But yesterday, Science thought it would share what it had found out about evolution happening a little farther under our noses. Around the area that I’ve — VROOM!
Posts Tagged ‘penis’
GIANT Size Uncanny X-Apendages? Science Says: Shape Matters
December 21st, 2011 
Jesse Jones 
Posted in Comic Books, Science, Sex 
Tags: alcohol, beetle, evolution, genitals, Giant-Size X-Men, Indiana University, labia, Marvel, penis, Power Rod, vagina, Wolverine, X-Men 
No Comments »In the Air and Office Chairs: Lady Parts is Everywheres!
August 16th, 2011 Jesse Jones Hey you, shut up, I have a penis and it demands to be heard! I am a man, and as such, it is my god given duty to not care about a woman’s pleasure! My divinely given external genitalia are my genetic signal to all of the animal kingdom that I am strong and make fire — VROOM!
Posted in Cryptozoology, Products, Sex, Technology Tags: clitoris, Crave, Duet, female orgasm, Kevin James, Larry the Cable Guy, Mall Cop, Paul Blart, penis, phallus, The Female Orgasm Explained, vagina, Vibrator, video on demand, Zookeeper 3 Comments »The "No Cut Off My Penis" Clause
July 14th, 2011 Jason Whitesel This is probably the most painful thing I’ve ever had to write, no seriously !! The lady above, Kieu Becker, decided enough was enough with her marriage and decided to whack her husband’s pecker off and throw it in the garbage disposal. But it gets worse! She then decided to turn the garbage disposal on — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Examination, Family, Headlines, Health, Love, Opinions Tags: Bobbitt, Bondage, Castration, Cut, Kieu Becker, Knife, penis, Sex Life 2 Comments »Bulls and Beers: Nothing to Fear
July 7th, 2011 Jesse Jones People do stupid things. To be more accurate, college aged kids do stupid things. To be even more accurate, drunken, college aged kids do stupid things. I wouldn’t know, I was torn from the thigh of Zeus, fully formed, wizened beyond reason and sent here to entertain the masses with my razor sharp wit and imaginative — VROOM!
Posted in Alcohol, Busy Body, Health Tags: alcohol, binge drinking, bulls, college, cunt, goring, Pamplona, penis, psychology, shot, Spain, University of Washington, Zeus No Comments »Sweden Wants to Steal Your Baby's Genitals
June 28th, 2011 Jesse Jones As men, our number one mission in life is to ensure that no harm comes to our external reproductive organs. Above all else, this is our divine purpose in life. Our very existence revolves around the grandeur and majesty of our god granted penis. But if it were up to Sweden our magnificent boy glands would be treated as no more special than the common vagina! — VROOM!
Posted in Busy Body, Education, Gay, World News Tags: bisexual, Davis, Egalia, gay, giraffe, homosexual, homosexual propaganda, Jay Belsky, kindergarten, Lego, lesbian, Lotta Rajalin, penis, polygamy, preschool, Stockholm, Storm Stocker, Sweden, Swedish Science Council, transgender, University of California, vagina 1 Comment »Science Hates Your Balls: The War on Sperm
June 14th, 2011 Jesse Jones Scientists, in laboratories all over the globe, are busy thinking of new and hilarious ways to make mice fucking even more pointless. But don’t laugh too hard at blank shooting rodents, because science’ll be coming for your testicles next! Since the invention of the penis approximately 47 billion years ago man has been desperately trying to devise ways to control them. They are — VROOM!
Posted in Family, Health, Science, Technology Tags: condom, contraception, fornication, homosexual, India, jizm, penis, science, scrotum, semen, sperm, spooge, testicles, vacectomy, vitamin A, withdrawl 1 Comment »Wow! What A Wiener, Weiner!
June 6th, 2011 Jason Whitesel New York Congressman, Anthony Weiner, decided he was going to show his pee-pee to some ladies on the interwebs. Apparently he thought women could keep their mouths shut, and I mean that in the most loving way possible, seriously. Let’s just take a quick look at this shit, shall we Weiner? #1. You are a U.S. — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Government, Headlines, Social Media Tags: Anthony Weiner, Facebook, Hilary Clinton, kosher, New York Congressman, penis, shaved chest, Tiger Woods, Twitter 2 Comments »Secret Baby Genitalia Are Destroying Our Country
May 26th, 2011 Jesse Jones Your child needs to be told by everyone exactly what their genitalia mean to them socially and psychologically but then must never, under any circumstances, ever actually be instructed on how to use them by anyone. Especially not with weird anatomically correctish stuffed toys… But we’ll get to that… You see, two equally and oppositely frustrating stories popped up in various — VROOM!
Posted in Busy Body, Education, Opinions, Rants Tags: Eugene Beresin, gender, genitalia, kindergarten, penis, sex box, sex ed, sexual identity, Storm, Storm Stocker, Switzerland, vagina 3 Comments »Osama bin Jackin': The Diary of the "Little Terrorist"'s Mind
May 13th, 2011 Jesse Jones Osama bin Laden was just like you and me. Wait. No. What I meant to say is that, you’re no different than Osama bin Laden. NO! No, that’s not it. Okay, let me start over. Osama bin Laden’s penis. It existed. So does yours. If you were born with one. Or if yours wasn’t lost — VROOM!
Posted in Love, Media, War on terror Tags: Abbottabad, Afghanistan, Beard, Bin Laden, burqa, cave, explode, gay, glory hole, Gone Wild, Infidel, jihad, Middle East, Osama, Pakistan, penis, porn, Reuters, Seal Team 6, squirter, suck puppet, Twin Towers, virgins No Comments »Reaching 100 With Class
May 9th, 2011 Van Full of Candy It’s been almost exactly four months since this Candy filled Van of hilarity and yuks hit the road. We like to think in that time we have firmly established ourselves as one of the class acts of internet humor sites. It is with that standard of excellence in mind that we come to you today — VROOM!
