Have you ever been publicly praised by your boss and heralded as “one of the classiest people on Earth!”, for choosing not to continue to savagely pummel an unconscious rival until being forcibly removed from their carcass by authorities? UFC fighter Brian Stann has, and that seems like a bad thing to me. Now, I enjoy fighting — VROOM!
Posts Tagged ‘Twitter’
Lowered Social Standards: Thy Name is UFC
April 16th, 2012 
Jesse Jones 
Posted in Class, MMA, Twitter 
Tags: Alessio Sakara, Ben Fowlkes, Brian Stann, Dana White, DVD, Fuse, MMA Fighting, Twitter, UFC 
No Comments »Van Full of Candy's Guide to Van Full of Candy
August 18th, 2011 Van Full of Candy We like the internet, and judging by the fact that you’re reading this, we can safely assume that you do too. We also know that if you’re anything like us, you’re looking every day for new ways to waste your hours at work pretending to be spread sheeting or otherwise giving a fuck about what you’re — VROOM!
Posted in Addiction, Facebook, Google, MySpace, Social Media, Twitter, YouTube Tags: Adam McKay, Al Gore, Cat Video, Comedy Whirled, current TV, Empire Avenue, Facebook, fart, foursquare, Funny or Die, Google, Google Plus, internet, Justin Timberlake, Klout, Linked In, MySpace, pornography, spread sheet, twat, tweet, twit, Twitter, Will Ferrell, WordPress, world wide wed, YouTube, Zuckerburg No Comments »2 Second Hef ?? Ouch !!
July 27th, 2011 Jason Whitesel Good ol’ Heff, still pullin’ 25 year old strange at 85 years old. Hats off to ya old boy. But a little bit of the ugly truth was leaked recently by aforementioned strange. Crystal Harris, Hugh’s latest name added to his novel length list of ass-tap, called him out on Howard Stern saying that his — VROOM!
Posted in Celebrity, Comedy, Entertainment News, Playboy, Twitter Tags: Babe Ruth, Crystal Harris, Don Rickles, Hitler, Hugh Hefner, sex, Twitter No Comments »Yeah! Rub Your Pie All Up In My Face, Mmmmm !!
July 20th, 2011 Jason Whitesel During a session of love-seat-lounging yesterday, something dawned on me as I watched the “news” on my thin-black-box-of-tummy-plumping’ness. I realized that a good ol’ “pie in the face” has never lost its charm, AND, the most important realization, was that getting “pied” is the ultimate form of putdownery that you really can inflict on thine — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Food, Media, Pranks, Recipes, YouTube Tags: Anita Bryant, Bill Gates, MLB, Mr. Flip, phone hacking scandal, Pie In The Face, Pieing, Rupert Murdoch, Shaving cream, Slapstick, Twitter No Comments »Wow! What A Wiener, Weiner!
June 6th, 2011 Jason Whitesel New York Congressman, Anthony Weiner, decided he was going to show his pee-pee to some ladies on the interwebs. Apparently he thought women could keep their mouths shut, and I mean that in the most loving way possible, seriously. Let’s just take a quick look at this shit, shall we Weiner? #1. You are a U.S. — VROOM!
Posted in Comedy, Government, Headlines, Social Media Tags: Anthony Weiner, Facebook, Hilary Clinton, kosher, New York Congressman, penis, shaved chest, Tiger Woods, Twitter 2 Comments »Sarah Palin: Professional Grifter
June 2nd, 2011 Jesse Jones It used to be that a huckster would rumble into town in a brightly colored wagon emblazoned with grandiose hyperbole about their stature and abilities. And the townsfolk, how they would flock to this charismatic charlatan, selling them something they thought they wanted, taking their “donations” for the promise of a better life and happier tomorrow. — VROOM!
Posted in Advertising, Election 2012, Headlines, Opinions Tags: Alaska, Americana, Auntie Sarah, charlatan, elixir, Facebook, governor, grifter, huckster, Jesus McAwesome, Palin, President, Ratt, reality tv, sky monster, terrorist, tonic, Twitter 2 Comments »Beware: Exploding Babies
May 11th, 2011 Jesse Jones I don’t do a lot of flying, I have my reasons. One of them, certainly, is the fact that I don’t do a lot of traveling. I don’t think they have a lot of destinationless flights, and if they did, why would they? But when I do go somewhere, which as I’ve stated, I don’t, I — VROOM!
Posted in Busy Body, Government, Religion, Stupid laws, War on terror Tags: Bic, C4, exploding babies, explosives, flying, International, Jacob Jester, Kansas City, Krypton, Reverend, stroller, TSA, Twitter, uproar 2 Comments »Crisis in the Holy Land: Biebs vs. Heebs
April 13th, 2011 Jesse Jones As regular readers know, we at Van Full of Candy have a love, hate, stab, caress relationship with a certain young pop super star whose name shall be mentioned many dozen times throughout this article. Whether it’s his disappointment in and hatred of rape victims, or his world shaking follicle styling decisions, we have been there every — VROOM!
Happy Birthday Twitter, You Bedwetter
March 23rd, 2011 Jason Whitesel We didn’t get you a present Hey everyone, want to hear something that nobody cares about? Twitter just turned 5 years old. Big F’ing deal, so did my dog and he still scrapes his ass on the floor. Five! You can’t even really color within the lines yet Twitter, or eat without spillin’ shit — VROOM!
Posted in Rants, Social Media Tags: Birthday, Charlie Sheen, Hashtag, Mashable, Pull Ups, Twitter No Comments »
