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The Dip of the Damned, A Recipe for Delicious Sadness

This is how I prepared my Super Bowl spread, this exact way. The music may not have actually been playing, I may have just been hearing it in my head, but this, this is how my Sunday went. It wasn’t THAT bad really, All of my best friends were there: no one. Hooray, sport. Originally […]

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Anti-Masturbation Message Re-Mix Makes You Wanna Put Your Hands Up, Someone

Body language, just like spoken, or even sign, is a very important factor to take into consideration when trying to deliver any message. It become even more so when using sign language to deliver an anti-masturbation message, as it demonstrated, thusly. Originally posted on Your Daily Media I wasn’t very familiar with the practices of […]

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2 Cellos Covers AC/DC’s Thunderstruck With… Two Cellos…

“Classy Rock”. It’s a new genre that I just made up right this second. It involves people with training, more in the classical realm, classing the shit out of classic rock. There’s a lot of classic going on. And when you add a shiny coat of sophistication to the workin’ man’s rock and or roll, […]

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The Internet Presents: Patty Cake Playing, Bitchy French Dubbed Cats

It’s becoming increasingly obvious that we at Van Full of Candy are doing the internet wrong. More and more I see cat videos (usually much less produced than even the following), with MILLIONS of views. Meanwhile out finely crafted humor comedy jokes wallow in obscurity. Oh Internets, you cruel mistress, we’ll have your fickle love […]

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Van Full of Candy’s Guide to Van Full of Candy

We like the internet, and judging by the fact that you’re reading this, we can safely assume that you do too. We also know that if you’re anything like us, you’re looking every day for new ways to waste your hours at work pretending to be spread sheeting or otherwise giving a fuck about what you’re […]

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VFoC Video — “Trans-Am”

Idiot #1: How do you like my new hair cut Moron #2? Moron #2: That is quite a finely cut set of hairs Idiot #1. I would go so far as to call that haircut “awesome”. Us: Hey idiot. Lookie here moron. You’re wrong; shut the fuck up. Has this kind of thing happened to […]

Mars' Bio Station Alpha: Confirmation by Denial

There is a secret government space station, manned by a co-operative team of humans, aliens and human alien hybrids working together for no doubt nefarious purposes as we speak… on the surface of Mars! How do I know with absolute, unwavering, blind certainty that the crazy thing that I just said is the only pure, true […]