The title of this blog comes from a very popular “Tweet” and mixes it with us, Van Full of Candy, and a cheeseburger slinging clown. It’s sort of a creepy-trifecta right off the bat. The “Tweetsy” I’m referring to is one that starts off … #ThatAwkwardMomentWhen … and people put all kinds of awkward moments behind it. One of the more popular “moments” is, well, here it is below that I came across just today …
— Seth (@SethBoner5) August 24, 2011
First of all, thank you Mr. Boner5 for expressing your disappointment in not receiving any candy, and second of all, please know that if you get in our van, there’s more candy than you can handle. And hey dear reader, why not click on “Follow” for Mr. Boner, I’m sure he’d like some company. Now where was I? Ahh yes, explaining shit.
So the title comes from a conglomeration of a few things, beginning with an article I read on Time Magazine’s website today. It was about the 10 creepiest product mascots that they have so deemed worthy of this title. After going through their list I’d have to agree with most of them, but I would have added Fred Rated to the mix. Anyway, the two that stood out to me were the original Hamburglar and the original Ronald McDonald. So being the diligent purveyor of information that I am, I went on a research binge and came across something that even I hadn’t seen before. It’s about how Ronald McDonald skates through your neighborhood, offers your kids burgers and holds their hand as they skip off to McDonald’s for gawd knows what even though mommy said not to.
So dear readers, what have we learned from this PSA video? We’ve learned that when a strange man driving a van offers you candy, take a moment and think of what dear old mom said, then look at the van, and smell the candy, and listen to the driver’s voice. If it looks unlegit, and smells unlegit, and sounds unlegit, then get your ass in that van and eat as much candy as possible, because heck, a van full of candy is your favorite place in town, just like the commercial says. Beep beep !!