Go Ahead, Touch My Snake

iPhone Neck Holder

Well hello, I … didn’t see you standing there. I was just enjoying the latest episode of Survivor, hands-free. Wait, I can’t hear you, let me take these ‘Beats’ by Dr. Dre headphones off. Hi. Oh this? Yeah, isn’t it great? It’s called a Vyne, but I like to call it Python.  No don’t be afraid of it, it’s not real. Haha yeah I know … it IS scary. So, you like snakes? Nevermind.

The thing I like best about this cool little jimmy-thang, besides the obvious conversation-starting-lady-magnetism, is that when I’m sporting it, I have an actual “personal-space-creator”, yeah I know right? And it’s a great back-scratcher. Oh wait, check this trick out … when I gyrate my neck, whoa yeah, oh look out, it’s like a reptilian hula-hoop. And if I ever drop my keys down a storm drain, I’m totally set.  Hmm, maybe I’ll try that today just to make sure.

So, you want a ride?  You can straddle it right here, facing me is best, and I’ll just carry you wherever you … No?  Ok, no problem.  Where you going?  Hey wait, look, my download of The Bachelor just completed.  You could come stand next to me and watch it … I’ll share my headphones.

Dammit.

Well hello, I … didn’t see you standing there.