VFoC Podcast — “The Van Full of Candy Show: Episode 4: Conversation Hearts”

It’s just damned lucky that I’m not writing this recap of last night’s live episode of “The Van Full of Candy Show” via my one phone call from a holding cell in down town Los Angeles today…

You see, while we originally chose the name “Van Full of Candy” because of it’s catchy tongue in cheek nature and faux dangerous connotations, we have since been fighting off the natural association with the inherent creepiness of our namesake. Last night we did nothing to further ourselves from that identity and really did more to enforce it than all of our efforts to refute it over the last 14 months combined.

We started off the show warning listeners that the licking of the suddenly, mysteriously sickly Jason Whitesel was ill advised, in general, but on last night’s episode in particular. Jesse blamed his cold on the infectious hospital system which Jason had been recently visiting. Jason somehow found it in himself to blame the ready availability of Purell in the corridors. Looking forward to his weekend, Jesse bitched about his upcoming participation in this Saturday’s Tough Mudder (his start time is 10:20 am if you’d like to be there to offer encouraging words and post run rub downs) and his impending future death at the cold uncaring hands of the obstacles that await him along the 11 mile journey. The boys also discovered that the metric system is used to mask the pussy length of runs until it gets to a respectable distance that sounds better when expressed in miles.

And then things went weird.

Jesse attempted to take a call. It seemed that someone might have been there and the guys convinced themselves that listening to the silence of a dropped phone call would reveal it’s secrets. That quickly transitioned into filthy “seduction” of the silent call. Hitting on the silence with ever increasingly disturbing innuendo. Then Jason had the brilliant idea of using the caller ID in the BlogTalkRadio.com studio to conference this mystery caller back through Skype.

Following a short commercial break, the show returned with the ill advised call to the mysterious caller who did in fact turn out to be the Episode 3 infatuated fan! A fan who we quickly realized, we were now digitally stalking, a fact that we hadn’t really considered until we made the call… We felt dirty and wrong in ways both positive and negative, a confusing mix of exhilaration and self loathing disgust.

What sort of societal rules will be carelessly tossed aside in the name of ignorance and stupidity next Wednesday? Tune in to find out in next week’s all new live episode: “The Van Full of Candy Show “Episode 5: Charleston, Choose!”!

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