Monday Rewind (Van Full of Candy’s Scratch ‘n Sniff eBook)

Sometimes when one is very sick, or just doesn’t feel like doing shit, well then, that’s when we recycle … Enjoy this recycled story from many months ago. Recycling … it’s good for the environment, and our readers.
The release of our first online eBook has actually happened and we’re pleased to share it with the world today. Van Full of Candy has partnered with technological powerhouse 3M to create the first ever virtual scratch -n- sniff eBook. After years of scientific study we have been able to harness the only ‘LCD touch and smell technology’ that works on all LCD monitors including laptops. What you are about to experience is a scientific breakthrough that we proudly share with the world.
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DIRECTIONS:
Center the image on your screen
With the tip of your finger (not your fingernail) gently rub the image for approximately 3 seconds
Put your face as close to the image as possible and take a good sniff*
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*If at first you don’t smell anything, repeat the process. (Being that this is the first time you have done this, there is an LCD “break-in period”. Once you get your first image to produce a scent, all other images will work without issue)
Please give us any feedback in the comments section if your smells did not match the images in the eBook. Thank you all for your loyal dedication to our site and for your help in making the scratch -n- sniff eBook the best it can be.
Enjoy!

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CAKES

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Strawberry cake is oh so yummy, put a whole bunch in  your tummy

Newborn baby is so cute sleepin’, try not to wake him when you eat him

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ROSES

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Lovely red roses smell devine, on Valentine’s Day they mean “will you be mine?”

Sometimes roses smell like a dirty old man, don’t get too close or you’ll end up in his van

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GINGERBREAD

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Warm and sweet straight from the oven, gingerbread gingerbread, we’re all lovin’

We really liked this funny ginger … WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HIM?!?

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FRENCH PERFUME

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Mommy likes to wear beautiful perfume, we love how the frangrance fills the room

French whores don’t smell quite as pretty, but for $20 extra you can fondle her titties

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LEMONADE

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Sweet and sour and icy cold, our favorite summer drink will never get old

Warm and yellow it’s nasty old piss, sometimes it smells like asparagus

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CUCUMBER

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Garden fresh and crisp and clean, we love them when there very green

Mommy likes cucumbers too, she also has one that’s red and one that’s blue