This Didn't Happen Today in History – September 2

September 2, 1962 —

In a noble attempt to become the first man to run the mile in under two minutes, Polish born Nikifor Smolnik, whose name coincidentally means “bearer of victory”, decided to imitate Mercury’s winged shoes by strapping a pigeon to each of his own shoes. Unfortunately for him and more unfortunate for the birds, they were unable to carry his weight into the air and were sadly trampled to death in front of 42 horrified spectators.

Perhaps try taking the wings off the birds first